"Everything I Never Told You"

Chapter |8| Kennedy

I haven't slept all night because of the anxiety of having to give a presentation in front of my classmates.

My phone vibrates in my hand and a smile forms on my face when I see a message from Jax.

His mere existence usually helps calm my nerves.

8:01 am, Jax: "Busy day today, but what do you say if after class you come to the court to watch me play for a while and then we go have lunch?"

8:02 a.m., Kennedy: "I would love that. But are you sure you have time?"

8:03 am, Jax: "You know I always have time for you. I'll be on court 3."

8:03 a.m., Kennedy: "Okay. See you at noon".

A little calmer, I turn off my phone and get out of bed.

I go into the bathroom, take one of my pills, and put makeup on my face and wrists. Today I can't even hide with a hoodie because it's 27 degrees.

I leave the bathroom, Keila waking up.

I put on jean shorts and a black top, paired with my Chucks.

— "What time is it? And where the hell is Brooke?" Keila yawns.

— "Morning. It's 8:00 am and Brooke has spent the night at Alex's. I'm already going to my first class."

— "I don't even know what the hell I'm doing awake. they canceled my classes today, so I have the day off" she sighs frustratedly and gets out of bed. "But I guess since I'm awake I'm going to the gym."

— "I'm sorry if I woke you up." I feel a little guilty knowing how much Keila appreciates her sleep, as do I.

— "No problem, Kenny. I prefer to go to the gym anyway. Do you want to hang out later?".

— "Can't. I've already arranged to go see Jax after practice and go to lunch with him. But if you want, you can come and watch him play for a while."

— "I could do that. That way I can keep an eye on his teammates since it's now evident Reed has no interest in me. I need to find a dick. And I think there is no better place than the football fields. 

— "Okay, then I'll see you there" I say, a little uncomfortable, not because of her words but because of what they remind me of and my experience when it comes to being with a guy, like that.

I take my backpack and open the door.

— "Have a good workout."

— "Thanks. Good luck with the presentation. You'll be fine! Have a little faith in yourself." she assures me with a completely honest smile and her words reach the bottom of my heart.

Keila is so sincere and pure; I really don't deserve her.

I give her a small smile in thanks, leave the room and start listening to my Lana Del Rey playlist on the way to class.

Unfortunately, the trip only lasts 10 minutes and before I realize I'm walking through the doors of the classroom.

I take off my headphones and walk up the stairs to where I see Leilani sitting with her laptop open and talking to herself.

— "Hey, girl" she greets as I take the spot next to her. "I'm reviewing my presentation, or rather, studying. I procrastinated everything and last night I went out, so I didn't have time, or well, I didn't want to prioritize studying. I just hope I'm not the first one he calls."

Leilani didn't study and is pretty much calm.
I studied for 3 days, and I feel like I'm about to vomit.

That's ironic. I would like to be Leilani in life.