"Everything I Never Told You"

Chapter |4| Kennedy

Positive thoughts. Just think of good things.

I repeat my daily affirmation while getting ready for class.

I'm not a morning person. I've never been, and I never will be. If there is something I love in this world it's sleeping, and when I have to get up, I'm in a bad mood for a couple of minutes.

Keila is still asleep in her bed, and she asked me to wake her up before I go to my class. Brooke, on the other hand, spent the night at Alex's house.

I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth, brush my face, and put some makeup on my face. I look at my wrists for a moment and think about putting on a hoodie, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to tolerate the heat today, so I put concealer on them to cover my scars.

I lean against the sink and measure my breaths, taking my time to calm down and not start the morning in a rush.

Then, once I feel like my breaths are aligned, I open my bathroom cabinet and reach for the two pill bottles, taking out one of each.

I stare at the pills for a moment and then look at myself in the mirror.

A failure. That's what I see reflected.

I divert my eyes from the glass and pour myself a glass of water swallowing the pills quickly and wanting to get out of here once and for all and start the first class of my day, verbal abuse I. I get out of the bathroom.

— "Kei, it's time for you to wake up. You have to go to class in a while" I wake her up.

— "Mmm, yes I'm coming" she sits against her bed, rubbing her eyes and yawning. I swear to god that besides being a completely positive and humorous person she stands up completely beautiful. I really don't know how she manages to look good at all times.

— "What time does your first class start?".

— "Um, in about 10 minutes or so. And it's still hard for me to locate myself on campus, so it'll take a little longer" I throw my sketchbook and headphones inside my bag. I can't survive without those two.

— "You have to take advantage of Satan and his location skills since he has been living here for almost 5 years" she begins and when naming his name, or well 'nickname', frowns. "Agh, too early to name him. Anyways, see you after class?"

— "I'm going to Jax's to study. Wanna come?"

— "In no way I'm going to step foot in that house of. Do you want me to mentally collapse, Kenny? Sometimes I think you don't care about my mental health when it comes to your brother "she says in the most dramatic way, as is she.

— "So, you coming or not?".

— "On second thought, I could go for a while. I mean, his hot friends will probably be there" Keila arches a brow. "What was Brooke's brother name, again? Ryan? He was hot as fuck".

— "I'm pretty sure his name was Reed" I correct. "Anyway, I don't know if his friends are going."

— "I'm positive they are. I choose to believe. I would definitely go to see that hottie again. So yeah, after class we'll go to Satan's, and while you study, I see if I can fuck the sexy guy".

— "I thought you were seeing the guy from the party. The one on the basketball team?".

— "Oh yeah. Of course, he's hot. But so is Reed, so who says I can't mess with both of them."

A lump forms in my throat at her words, the freedom she has to do what she wants with whoever without hesitating for a moment or being afraid.

To be able to live life and enjoy, when I find myself broken and stuck. Thinking about him and what happened a couple of months ago.