"Everything I Never Told You"

Chapter |16| Kennedy

I look down at the sketch I draw on my book.

I look at his face and sight frustrated.

It's been almost two weeks since we returned from Boston and my routine is back to being the same: sleep, study, eat (obviously), listen to music, draw, go out with my friends and or brother.

It's boring and repetitive, but at least it keeps me out of my head. Of thinking about that night with him.

Because I've been thinking more than I want to admit about the night in Reed's penthouse when we stayed watching Harry Potter. That night seems to be pinned inside my brain for some strange reason.

I had a good time and rarely managed to feel comfortable in his presence to simply allow myself to enjoy the moment and then falling asleep. Trusting him. That he would not do anything to me.

So yes, the face I have been highlighting with the tip of my pencil for hours is Reed. Reed while he watches the movie. I captured the moment with my eyes when at one point I turned to look at him. And today when I came here, I didn't come with the intention or idea of drawing anything in particular. I just let my hands take the reins.

And that led to Reed apparently.

And that scares me a lot.

I can't tear my eyes off the drawing. I managed to capture his facial features quite well, a defined jaw and nose, lips that..., intense eyes but at that moment relaxed while watching the movie.

I abruptly close the notebook tightly and close my eyes, denying with my head.

This can't be happening. Not again.

I don't want to feel. I can't. I'm afraid.

I try to control the urge to cry at the situation and tell myself that I can't be so pathetic as a form of incentive, which it seems to do.

My phone chimes in with a text from Brooke which tells me to meet her and Keila at the library. And even though I'm not in the best mood I'm grateful for a distraction of the thoughts running through my head at this very moment.

I close my sketchbook and put away my pencils. I stand up from the ground, take my bag walk out of the terrace, down the stairs and out of the building.

A few minutes later I enter the library and walk to the table I see Keila and Brooke in.

— "Hey bitch" Keila shouts as she sees me approach them, the librarian automatically 'shh'ing her. Keila laughs loudly and then covers her mouth and mutters. "I'm sorry".

I greet them, sitting next to Brooke and taking out my statistics notebook to practice a little for the final that I have in 2 days and I'm sure I'm going to fail because I don't understand anything.

— "Kenny, hey" Brooke gives me a full smile and her eyes narrow a little at the gesture. She's so pretty.

— "Where were you all morning?" Keila asks while she writes something in her notebook.

— "Ah, um...I was drawing a little."

— "Inspiration finally came down?" Keila smiles excitedly. "Can I see what you drew? I love your sketches."

— "NO" I shout quickly and this time I'm the one to give the librarian an apologetic smile, which she ignores and rolls her eyes.

Keila looks at me surprised and Brooke laughs quietly.

I clear my throat.

— "I mean, I don't have anything finished. There's nothing very clear. You know, they're just lines or brushes. Nothing cute".