"Everything I Never Told You"

Chapter |29| Kennedy

I don't want to open my eyes and have to face reality.

A reality in which, unlike my dreams, is happy and I'm full of joy.

Because I all felt for the last few months, feel now, and probably will feel for the rest of my life is pain.

Not coming from a negative perspective, but I just don't have any hope left.

I fell asleep after crying the whole afternoon, Reed holding me in his arms.

It's just a way to avoid the inevitable, taking and facing what happened to me.

But I just had to rest some time because it hurt so much to be attacked and relive what happened that night with Will, and mom, and everything that went wrong in my entire life.

It still hurts. Like I said, I had a really good dream in which Reed and I went to the beach and spend the whole day there, just relaxing. At peace.

How I wish.

That's not my life. That's an illusion of how I want it to be.

I take a deep breath and open my puffy and hurting eyes, my gaze on the roof of Reed's room.

I slowly sit up, close my legs and lay back on the bed headboard.

I turn to my side, hopeful to find Reed there. But his side of the bed is empty.

I grab my phone from the nightstand, about to ask him where he is.

I don't to be by myself right now, not more after having the comfort of his presence these past hours.

— "Hey" a low male voice interrupts my texting.

I look up and find Reed standing on the door, two cups of coffee in hand.

— "H-hi" my voice comes out raspy from the amount of crying I've been doing.

I clear my voice.

— "May I come in?" he asks.

— "Reed, please, it's your room. You don't even have to ask" I chuckle, though I don't feel it at all.

He slowly steps in his room, as is he's going to trigger me or something.

I try not to cry. I really try. Because I don't want him to treat me differently than before just because he now knows what Will did to me.

Not him. Not when he's the one who makes me feel more alive than ever.

He sits down on his side of the bed and extends me the cup of coffee.

I reach out and take it from his hand, our fingers brushing, though he quickly pulls away as I grab the mug.

I close my eyes tightly and my chin trembles.

— "Are you..." he starts but stops himself. "Do you want me to leave you alone? I can come back later".

The way in which he says the words, tightly and almost forced, prove that he wants to do the opposite of that. That he wants to stay by my side but would leave if I needed to be alone.

— "I would never want you to leave my side..." I whisper.

Reed snuggles closer to me.

— "I'm not going to" he states.

He's not going to leave my side.

That simple sentence warms my chest and relaxes me.

Knowing he's by mi side makes me feel safe. And I don't want that feeling to ever go away.