"Everything I Never Told You"

Chapter |20| Kennedy

— "You look different. I know what, but there's something, like an aura, that feels different Keila looks at me for a second and then returns her eyes to the road ahead.

— "What are you talking about?" I asked confused.

Because I look and feel the same as always. This morning I had a silent panic attack in the bathroom because the memories were strong, and I had to take a stronger dose of my pills to calm myself down.

And yesterday I almost gave in to the voices and started hurting myself a little, until I don't know how but could stop it before it went further.

— "I don't know. You've been off since the halloween party last week. Has something happened that haven't told me about?".

Oh, shit.

Fake insanity, Kennedy.

— "Um...n-no, nothing has happened. I'm still the same as always" I stammer a little which does not help hide my lie.

I look out of the window, ignoring Keila's gaze on my profile.

I don't even want to talk about last Friday night...with Reed.

— "Mhm, sure. You're my best friend, I know you better than anyone else. Besides, you're a terrible liar..." I don't think so, since nobody knows all about what happened last year, and neither they suspect other than mom's death changed me. "What happened and why don't you want to tell me".

She won't stop insisting. And if I don't tell her she's probably going to get mad because she always tells me everything about the guys she hooks up with.

But Reed...I don't know. He doesn't feel like just one of those hook ups.

— "Well, I...I w-was with someone" I chew my nails nervously for a moment "R-Reed. I was with him".

— "I'm sorry, what? What did you just say?" Keila screams with excitement and honks the car horn "Oh my gosh, Kenny, I'm so pissed you didn't tell me you bitch. I knew that was going to happen, I told you. How was it, tell me everything".

— "We didn't, um, I mean, we didn't sleep together. We didn't have sex" I rub my hands "We just kissed. It was nothing".

At least probably to him, I'm sure.

— "It was something. Reed's always looking at you like he wants to devour you. So I'm not surprised this happened from his side, but on yours I am. You're finally hooking up with someone after your idiot ex."

Her words make my stomach turn and I try to ignore them, or think about him, so as not to start my morning in a bad way.

— "Anyways, where have you been all night? Reed had to take me back to the residence because I couldn't find you anywhere" I ask her, changing topics as to not continue talking about Reed.

Even though I am still thinking about him and that damned night.

— "Oh, um..." Keila puts a strand of her behind her ear and side eyes me for a moment. "Just with some random guy whom I couldn't resist. You know me".

I nod.

The rest of the car ride to Reed's house, where we are having lunch the six of us, is spent in silence until Keila parks on his driveway.

I was not in the best mood to socialize, not after yesterday's almost full relapse. But Keila and Brooke, as always, insisted and I couldn't deny as to not feel like a shit friend.

And I also want to see Jax...and Reed. I guess also Alex.

— "I forgot to tell you that Brooke told me not to bring the game, since the guys lost and they're not in a good mood" Keila breaks the silence, unfastens her seatbelt and turns of the engine.