I Let Myself Want You

2 ● Jesper ● 12.09.2022

September 12th, 2022

Jesper, New York

I got a weird call from our Chief this morning. He said that one of his closest friends got admitted to the hospital during the night, because he had a heart attack. Considering that it was the Chief's friend, he wanted the best people to take care of him, and for some reason, he chose me for the job. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself the best cardio surgeon in America, but when it came to New York Presbyterian, I'd say I was pretty high up.

I've been a cardio attending here for only three years, but I was already ambitious enough to want to become the head of the department someday. It would have been so much easier, to be my own boss, especially since doctor Barnes was a pain in the ass. The man was over sixty and he didn't want to retire, even though people encouraged him to do so ever since I was a resident.

Anyway, I had an important patient today. From what Chief told me, the man had his second heart attack in the span of three years and he was scheduled for surgery in a few days, a surgery I was about to perform. I had to admit I was getting a little anxious about this patient, mainly because Chief was so cautious about the whole thing. He also said that I shouldn't tell anyone about it, that the man was basically a ghost patient, that he wasn't here. And that meant, that he had to be someone important. Maybe an actor, or someone like that, I was honestly curious.

I was expecting literally everything, the worst even, but I never could have prepared myself for what I saw. Before I came into the patient's room, I read his chart. Lee Minseok, 68, admitted due to a heart attack. How many Lee Minseoks at the age of sixty eight could there be in New York? Not many, obviously, that was just my luck.

Before I came into the room, I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the worst. I haven't seen the man in years, literally like eighteen years, ever since I ended my friendship with Yohan. He looked different – old, too old for being sixty eight. I had no idea that he had health issues, but then again, I guess the age did its job.

I came closer to the bed and took off my glasses, I wore them at work sometimes, because the years haven't treated me nicely as well. Most of the time I wore contacts, especially in surgery, but sometimes my eyes were too tired for them. I took off the glasses, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he'd recognize me.

"Good morning Mr. Lee, my name's Jesper Harris and I'll be your doctor during your stay at New York Presbyterian. How are you feeling today?" I said the usual thing, as I did every time I greeted the new patient.

The man looked up at me with tired eyes, which lit up the second he realized who I was. "Jesper? Jesper Harris?" He asked disbelievingly. "Dear God, you're all grown up now!" He said, still observing me carefully, like he truly didn't believe I was standing right in front of him. "You'll be my doctor, does that mean you chose the heart after all?" He asked with a smile.

"Yes sir, I'm a cardio attending now," I nodded, smiling back at the man. It felt weird, seeing him. I've always liked Yohan's father, I admired the fact that he was a doctor, a neurosurgeon at that. I've always wanted to be like him.

"Your mother must be proud," he smiled again. "I can't believe the coincidence, woah. I haven't seen you in years, how have you been? Do you have a family now?" He asked curiously. It didn't matter that I had to talk to him about the surgery, I guess it could wait. I was as eager to talk as he was, I was eager to know how his life has been during those eighteen years.