I Let Myself Want You

13 ● Jesper ● 21.10.2022

October 21st, 2022

Jesper, New York

I loved night shifts. Like honestly, I took as much nights as I could, because I just liked it, I even preferred to work at night. It was quiet most of the time, patients just slept through the night, and I spent my time working on the computers, or sleeping myself.

Since Jisoo was a new fellow, she spent most of her time at the hospital lately, so we've been seeing a lot of each other, especially since she worked with me all the time. I didn't complain, I was glad to get to know her in her older version. I still remembered her as that little girl that's always been eager to spend time with me and Yohan, and I couldn't believe that she was all grown up now.

I just saw her walking into our ward and I was curious to know why she even went somewhere, since we had some work to do. "Hey, where have you been?" I asked when she came to sit next to me, by the computers.

"Sam came to pick up Yohan, and I came to pick up the food she brought me," she answered, showing me two containers of something. She put one of them in front of me with a smile. "I asked for two, since I knew we'd be here together all night," she added.

That was nice, but so unnecessary. "Thanks," I said nonetheless. But did I want to eat food from Sam? I didn't think so. It got me thinking though. I haven't seen her in years and I'd really like to, I'd like to see what she looks like now. And what if she was here with that kid? I'd certainly like to see what he looks like. I was curious to know if he looked like Yohan to be honest, because I wasn't so sure about it. Just the fact that his parents didn't like Sam and thought there was something off, it got me thinking as well. "Has she left yet?" I asked curiously.

Jisoo looked at me squinting. "No, Yohan doesn't finish until seven, so she's still waiting," she answered. "Why? Do you want to go talk to her?" She asked, looking at me with wide eyes. "That would be interesting, I'd certainly like to see that," she laughed quietly to herself.

"Is it weird that I want to see her?" I asked. "I haven't seen her since we were eighteen," I added, thinking about it. I wondered if she was as beautiful as she was in high school. Probably. If Yohan was with her, then she was probably as beautiful as ever.

"I don't think it's weird," Jisoo admitted. "I'd do the same. You want to see if she's still as gorgeous as she was back then? You want to know why Yohan is still with her? Want to see if the kid even looks like him?" She asked, looking at me knowingly. Damn it, did she know about it as well? Did everyone know?

I thought it was funny, that literally everyone from Yohan's family knew about my stupid crush, everyone but Yohan himself. It was a bit sad. "Am I really that obvious, Jisoo?" I asked curiously.

She looked at me like I was an idiot. "I think you're obvious to pretty much everyone but Yohan, my friend," she said, smiling sadly at me. "So go ahead, go see her and see for yourself if that kid of hers looks like he's even from our family," she added snorting and turned to her own monitor.

So well, I went, obviously. Jisoo told me that she was sitting in the waiting room by the elevators, so it wasn't that far. I was nervous for some reason, because I didn't know what I should prepare myself for. I definitely wasn't ready to see a little version of Yohan and I was a bit skeptic about meeting his son.

I saw her right away when I went outside to the waiting room. She was sitting right across, so I'm pretty sure she saw me as well. "Jesper? Jesper Harris?" I heard her speak as soon as she laid her eyes on me. I was surprised she recognized me, that she even remembered who I was. "Gosh, what are you doing here, do you work here?" She asked, standing up and coming closer to me. "I almost didn't recognize you, you've changed so much," she added that looking at me closely.