I Let Myself Want You

58 ● Jesper ● 29.07.2023

July 29th, 2023

Jesper, New York

Jisoo and I were in surgery since the early hours of the morning, and I didn't even notice where the time has gone. Thankfully, the surgery was successful, but we spent most of the day on it, and we were both exhausted.

"Shit, it's six already. I was supposed to meet Yohan at five," I said, looking at the watch, while we went into the scrub room.

"I'm sure he won't mind," I heard Jisoo snort. "Don't forget that we have a meeting with Malcolm in half an hour, Jesper. He said he has to talk to us about something important," she added.

I had a pretty good idea what Malcolm wanted to talk about, and I had to admit that I didn't even want to hear what he had to say. Nonetheless, I had to listen to him. "Sure," I nodded. "Can you handle post-op? I would really like to have at least half an hour with him," I added, looking at Jisoo with hopeful eyes.

She just sighed heavily, and then nodded with a light smile. "Go see your man, Chief," she said.

It's been about a month, and I still couldn't get used to the fact that people called me Chief, that I was the chief. I still haven't resigned from being the head of cardio, mainly because I thought that my Chief position was temporary, but also because I didn't think there was anyone suitable for the job. I would love to make Jisoo the head of cardio, I thought she deserved it, but she still needed to finish her fellowship. And besides, I would probably resign from being Chief soon anyway, so I didn't think there was any need in looking for someone to fill my place in the cardio department.

I washed up quickly and ran out of the scrub room, going to the place where I knew Yohan was waiting for me. I felt bad for being so late, but like Jisoo said, he probably won't mind.

"Sorry I'm late, the surgery went long," I spoke as soon as I came into the room. I closed the door, and then closed the curtains, so that nobody would interrupt us. It was my private moment with him, I didn't like when people stood at the other end of the glass and stared. "Your sister is seriously becoming better than me, I'm actually ashamed that I call myself her teacher, when she's seriously getting better and better every day," I said chuckling a little and sat at a chair near the bed.

I looked around the room, checked all the monitors, and when I didn't catch anything unusual, I simply sat there and stared at him. It's been a month since the surgery, a month since the wedding, and he still hasn't woken up.

Malcolm said that the surgery was successful, that everything went fine, more than fine, in fact. He managed to cut the whole tumor out and he didn't damage anything. His work was flawless, as always. There was just one problem. Yohan wasn't waking up.

The first two days we were okay, thinking that he simply needed some time to heal, but the third day we started worrying, the fourth day I started getting nervous, and after a week, everyone started losing any hope they had left. Not me though. I may have been angry and I didn't understand what was going on, but I knew he was going to wake up soon. He just needed a bit more time. He needed to heal. And it's not like he was actually dying or something, he was stable, everything was fine, he had brain activity. He just- He wasn't waking up.

"You know, you could wake up already. You're missing the whole summer. We were supposed to go on proper holiday after your surgery," I started, and I reached out for his left hand, where his wedding band was. "We haven't even spent one day as husbands yet," I added, caressing the band.