June 24th, 2023
Jesper, New York
A wedding day. My wedding day. Today. Fucking today. Never in a million years would I have thought that I'd get married. And to Yohan of all people. My eighteen year old self would probably laugh at me if I told him that I'd marry Yohan before forty, and that I would become the chief of surgery at New York Presbyterian in the process. Shit. All of this was actually happening. Damn.
I was walking around both shocked and scared the whole day, and when we got to Jia's house, where the wedding was supposed to be, I got so nervous, I almost refused to get out there. I sat with Jisoo in her room for about an hour and I cried in her arms.
To be honest, I don't even know why I cried so much. Was it out of happiness? Powerlessness? Fear? I had no idea, maybe everything combined. After all, I was excited as hell, I couldn't wait to finally marry Yohan. But then again, somewhere in the back of my head was the thought of tonight's surgery, and the fear that came with it.
In spite of my little panic attack, I finally decided to leave Jisoo's room and face everybody. I was fucking ready to marry the love of my life and spend our lives together.
We didn't want to invite that many people, because we simply didn't want to make it a big event. It was mostly family, close family, and a couple of friends from work. I'd say we had about thirty people here, and that was more than enough.
The odd thing was definitely seeing Sam and Joey here. It was obviously Yohan's idea. He said that he wanted to invite them after he talked to Sam about what's happening. They haven't seen each other since their divorce at the beginning of April and Yohan felt a little bad about it. He was just so consumed with work, and me, and the tumor stuff, that he completely forgot to see her. And Sam, well, she was shocked, like honestly, surprised as hell. Yohan said that she almost had a nervous breakdown if front of him when she found out he was dying. It didn't surprise me though, since well, she was his ex-wife, and she still loved him.
What surprised me more was my mother coming. I knew damn well how she felt about my relationship with Yohan and to be honest, I considered not telling her about the wedding, or Yohan's illness, but he convinced me to tell her. She was stunned by Yohan's situation, but when I told her about the proposal, we had another fight. She said that all he does is hurt me, and she's sick of it, and I seriously wanted to slap her right then and there, but I obviously didn't. In the end she just said that all she wants is my happiness, and she knows I won't have any, if I become a widower at the age of thirty seven. Let's just say I didn't agree with her, and I simply dropped the subject, telling her that I don't need her seeing me getting married if she's so unhappy about it herself.
But my mother aside, there was obviously Jisoo and Jia and even Malcolm and a few people from work that I didn't hate, and some more people from Yohan's family. And the place looked great, honestly, like it was straight from a movie or something, Jisoo truly outdid herself and I made a mental reminder to thank her later for everything.
The ceremony itself was quick and full of tears, mainly on my side. I completely broke down during vows and I could hardly figure out what was going on after that, because I was deep in my head. Then after the ceremony we had our first dance, and I told Yohan before that I give him free will when it comes to the song, and he chose 'Conversations in the dark' by John Legend, which surprised me a little.
YOU ARE READING
I Let Myself Want You
RomanceJesper has been in love with Yohan ever since they were kids, and when the latter kissed him out of the blue in high school, things between them drastically changed. Yohan proposed him a pact, in which they started seeing each other in secret, while...
