I Let Myself Want You

35 ● Jesper ● 4.05.2023

May 4th, 2023

Jesper, New York

"Did you know that Yohan hired a new neurosurgeon?" Jisoo asked me, when we were walking into the hospital. I didn't actually know anything about that. Ever since Yohan became the Chief, he had a lot on his mind, he had a lot of work to do, and we never really talked about everything, mostly because he didn't like talking about work when we were at home.

"I didn't, but I'm guessing we'll find out who it is sooner or later," I said, pointing with my hand to Yohan, who was standing by the coffee cart with some guy. The guy looked like he was a mix of Edward Cullen and Damon Salvatore. I don't think I have ever seen a human being as pale as he was. On top of that, he was freakishly tall, had jet-black hair and pale blue eyes. He honestly looked like a vampire from teen movies, but I would never say it out loud in front of people, because I'd never admit that I watched fucking Twilight.

"Wait, don't tell me the guy standing with Yohan is the new neurosurgeon," Jisoo said a little horrified, suddenly stopping. I didn't understand what she was talking about, but before I could ask her, Yohan already saw us and he came up to us with the guy.

"Hey guys," Yohan said, smiling at us. He came closer to me and embraced me with his arm loosely. "I want you to meet Malcolm Reed, he's my friend from college," he said, pointing to the guy.

"Your only bloody friend," Malcolm snorted, looking at Yohan offended. "So you are the famous Jesper? It's so nice to finally meet you, mate. I've heard so much about you, I feel like I know you already," he said, chuckling a little, reaching out with his hand politely, which I shook tightly, smiling at him.

"Wish I could say the same, Malcolm, but Yohan never told me about you," I admitted, a little sad that he didn't mention he had a friend in college. Obviously, Yohan has always been a pretty popular guy amongst people, but he never had any stable relationships, he never had any friendships that lasted.

"Of course he didn't, his pride probably didn't let him. After all, he'd have to tell you that I'm smarter than him, and he was only the top of our class because of his legacy," Malcolm said, dramatically rolling his eyes, which I started laughing at.

"Fuck, do you want to have a drink tonight? I'd love to hear more stories about Yohan from college," I proposed, and just thinking about it got me excited. After all, I've missed all those years from Yohan's life when I was in Baltimore in college, and Yohan himself never talked about it much, so I'd love to hear about it from someone else. Besides that, Malcolm seemed like a fun guy.

"Sure, that would be great," Malcolm replied right away, nodding eagerly. "I'd also love to get to know the guy Yohan left his wife for. To be fair, I told him to leave her about fourteen years ago, you're welcome," he added, laughing a little. "Yohan, buddy, you want to come with? Jisoo?" He said, looking at Jisoo, who was still silently standing behind me for some reason.

"Jisoo?" Yohan frowned, and I got confused as well. Did Malcolm know her? "You guys know each other?" He asked, clearly as surprised as I was. Yet now that I thought about it, I realized that when we were in med school, Jisoo must have been in grad school, so there was a possibility that they actually knew each other.

"Oh, you didn't tell your brother, love?" Malcolm asked with a mocking tone. "You see, Yohan-ah, I do-"

"Okay, stop talking!" Jisoo suddenly spoke, emerging from behind me. I don't think I've ever seen her this embarrassed, and I already had a pretty good idea why those two knew each other. "We do know each other," Jisoo said, looking at Yohan with a resigned look, and then turned to Malcolm. "Malcolm, buddy. What are you doing here?" She asked, looking at him with a fake smile.

"You mean fuck budd-" Malcolm started, but didn't get to finish, because Jisoo came up to him in a second and covered his mouth with her hand, which was pretty difficult, since he was really tall, and Jisoo was quite small. And I guess I was right. They must have been fuck buddies in college.

I already knew that when Yohan finally put two and two together, he would lose his fucking mind, so I was glad when Jisoo decided to leave us, dragging Malcolm somewhere with her. "Yohan," I started, wanting to say something to calm him down.

"It's okay. We're at work now, I'll start worrying about my sister fucking my friend when I'm at home," he just said, sighing heavily with frustration, and I could see that he started worrying already. "So, do you need anything, doctor Harris?" Yohan asked, smiling at me politely.

We walked to the elevators and I pressed the button, waiting for one. "Actually I do, Chief," I said, nodding. Not many people knew about us being friends, or even boyfriends, so we tried to keep it professional at work sometimes. Yet when we finally got into the elevator, I could drop the act. "Why is he here? Malcolm, I mean," I said curiously.

"Because I hired him?" Yohan frowned at me.

"But he's a neurosurgeon," I pointed out. "Why?"

"Because I need more hands in my department, Jesper," Yohan shrugged, huffing in annoyance. "Ever since I became the chief, I don't have the time to be at two places at once, and I have too much work to do," he explained.

I was the one to huff in fucking annoyance now. "Yeah, but I told you to hire people to do the chief stuff for you. Not the surgeries, Yohan," I said urgently, trying to tell him that it wasn't a good idea.

"And what chief would that make me?" Yohan asked me, though it sounded like a rhetorical question.

"You never wanted to give up on surgeries though," I pointed out, still surprised that he was even considering it. He loved operating after all.

"I'm not giving up," he said sternly, looking at me briefly. "I just have to limit it a little. I'm the chief, I need to set my priorities straight."

I literally wanted to hit him right now. "But that's why you didn't want to become chief in the first place!" I said with annoyance. "Because that meant less time in the OR and-" I continued, but he stopped me, saying that it was for the best. That's when the elevator door opened and we got out of it, and found ourselves in front of both cardiac and neurological ward. "Yohan," I spoke urgently. "What's-"

"I don't have the time to argue with you about it now," Yohan said, sighing heavily. "I have work to do, and so do you. We'll talk about it at home, okay?" He said, sending me a forced smile, and without even waiting for a response from me, he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and disappeared behind the door to the neurological ward.

"Seems like he's really overworked lately," I heard Jisoo's voice and turned around to see her standing at the entrance to the cardiac ward, already in her scrubs, ready for the day. "It's not like he can continue being the head of neuro and the chief both at the same time, so I think he's trying to find a way out of this situation. I just can't understand, why, for the love of god, he had to call Malcolm of all people," she said, sighing heavily and rolling her eyes theatrically. I snorted at that and we both headed into our ward.

"What's your history with Malcolm anyway?" I asked curiously, seeing that Jisoo wasn't too happy about seeing that guy here. "Where did you even meet him?"

"I was in grad school when Yohan was in med school, and as you know, he studied with Malcolm. I met the guy literally a few days before Yohan," she explained.

"Okay, I get that," I nodded in understanding. "But when I asked about your history with him, I wanted to know why you hate him so much, because it seems like you do," I added. After all, Malcolm himself kind of pointed out that they must have been some kind of friends with benefits back in college, and it seemed like Jisoo kind of hated him, so I was curious what happened between them.

"It's really a long story, Jesper, and I don't really feel like talking about it at work, so I'll tell you about it some other day, maybe," she said eventually, smiling at me weakly, and damn it, I couldn't wait to get out of work and take her out for a drink to find out.