I Let Myself Want You

18 ● Jesper ● 24.12.2022

December 24th, 2022

Jesper, New York

I was really excited about having the day off today. I've always loved Christmas and I couldn't wait to finally spend the holidays with the Lees again. It has been just me and my mom for many years, so I was ecstatic to spend Christmas with other people.

Minseok himself was so excited about the Christmas dinner, that he asked chief Wells to give all three of us a day off today, just so that we could spend it together. That's why me and my mom were on our way to the Lees right now. My mother herself was really happy about spending Christmas with her friends again, but she was also a bit confused about it.

I haven't really told her that I've been friends with Yohan for a few months now, I just said that I treated Minseok and that he invited us to dinner to thank me or whatever. I wouldn't dare to tell my mom about my relations with Yohan, because she always thought I was a fool. She was obviously supportive in me loving Yohan at the beginning, but after what happened between us before going away to college, she was really mad and I actually think that she was happy that Yohan wasn't in my life anymore.

Even though she knew how much he meant to me, she was angry at him for breaking my heart and she absolutely hated the fact that I was still in love with him and that I didn't want to move on at all. That's why I didn't want to tell her about my new friendship with Yohan, because I was sure we'd fight about it.

Unfortunately tonight it wouldn't just be us and the Lees, but also Yohan's new family, meaning Sam and Joey. I haven't seen those two after that one time at the hospital when I realized that Joey wasn't his son, and I didn't think I could keep my mouth shut tonight. I just didn't understand how nobody noticed that the kid didn't resemble Yohan at all. Or maybe they did, but didn't want to break Yohan's heart by pointing that out? I myself couldn't believe that he was so oblivious about it, because it was fucking obvious that the kid wasn't his, seriously.

When we finally came, my mom and Jia basically threw themselves at each other. They were always great friends and I think they kind of regretted drifting apart after Yohan and I stopped being friends, though I knew damn well that they only did this because of us. "Oh Elizabeth, it's so good to finally see you, you look amazing!" Mrs. Lee said.

To be honest, my mom did look amazing. She was over sixty now, but she was still incredibly beautiful. She didn't have those weird grey eyes that I got from my dad, she had incredibly vibrant blue eyes that everyone always obsessed about. Even though she was sixty three, her hair was still long, thick and beautiful in the most beautiful and natural blonde color. She was an interior designer, so she valued style and elegance, which you could see just by looking at her.

"Me? You haven't aged a day, Jia," my mother replied, which was so, so true, because Mrs. Lee was truly an ageless woman. I guess everyone from their family looked like that, as young as ever, it was the genes. The only exception was Minseok, who looked a bit worse lately, mostly because of his health troubles.

Since they haven't seen each other in years, they had a lot to catch up on, so I just left my mother with Jia to talk and tour the renovated townhouse, and I headed to the kitchen where I knew everyone was.

And well, I couldn't be more wrong, because Jisoo was the only one who was in the kitchen. "Jesper! You came!" The girl said happily and waved at me. She was sitting by the kitchen counter, cutting vegetables, dressed in the ugliest Christmas sweater I've ever seen. It was our theme for tonight's dinner.