12 years old Megan's Pov:
"Don't panic." Left.
"He just a stupid boy." Right.
"Yo friend." Left.
"He wouldn't even like you anyway." Right.
"Just go out." Left.
"Everythin's fine." Right.
"You don't even like him like that." Center.
I'm pacing the room, talking to myself as my own hype woman since I'm alone in this room. This all just apart of this growth Nana told me about: Puberty.
What am ugly word that makes people close their eyes in horror.
Puberty has made me:
- Bleed from my vagina.
- Have nipple aches.
- Feel these weird hot flashes when I gossip about adult things.
- Grow a lot of hair in places I've never thought could be possible.
- Forced to have a training bra.... And I don't even need a bra.
Just a bunch of stuff that I'm not ready for. The absolute horror I felt when I saw my underwear painted in blood will never be forgotten. These new weird feelings I'm experiencing should never exist cause why am I nervous around my best friend?
I went to sleep 2 days ago feeling just fine around him, then the night before last had a dream that I was disgustingly crushing on him. It was clear as day when I was acting shy around him then we kissed. It felt too real as what played in my dream was that kiss we did in Uncle Marcus room. I've actually kissed this monster, and it came back to bite me in the ass.
I literally woke up in a sweat terrified that it was real, then went back to sleep like everything was okay, that everything was still normal.
Everything.
Was.
Not.
Still.
Normal.
He woke me up that next morning to let me know that his parents had left again so he was staying over until they came back, like always. I felt so bad when I screamed in his dumb, happy, cute, face. I must have looked scared of him, but I couldn't care too long when he threw a rude joke at me.
Yesterday was a complete mess. I had never acted a fool in front of no boy like that, especially Shawn. I was trippin over my own feet, stuttering and staring, my face was feelin warm, I was a nervous wreck. He didn't think a thing of it saying that I'm just a weirdo. Crazy how his insults seemed to bring me back to reality... temporarily.
I told myself over and over again that there was no way I liked this dude and that I'm overreacting to my stupid dream. I didn't care the night I had it so why am I worried about it now?
Shawn is my friend, that's all. Yeah, we've kissed once upon a time, but that's it. Nothing more.
.
.
.
So why am I panicking about him seeing me in a swimsuit?
He seen me wear this dozens of times when we play with the water hose outside, so why am I scared for him to see me now? I don't like him, I can't like him, I never even thought about liking him more than a friend. He was never my ideal boyfriend. I wanted an Otis Williams not a Willie Nelson.
YOU ARE READING
An Undefeatable Love
Romance"Or what? You gon snitch on me?" I look him up and down "Yeah." "Is there a way I could 'talk' you out of it?" I say teasingly as I hook my fingers around the front of his belt and pull him closer to me roughly. "Megan." He says warningly. "That's...
