Fate

Ch. 48⚠️

⚠️Sensitive content in this chapter, content includes topics of mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Please read with caution⚠️
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Despite being healed, Wei Wuxian was still feeling a bit uneasy. He has talked to Wangji and Xichen and made amends but deep down, Wuxian still felt hurt emotionally. He was sitting outside under the large tree that sat in Zhan and Yibo's backyard. He sat leaning against the tree with his legs hugged to his chest. His arm was healed and his core was fine. He talked about everything, so why was he still feeling so upset?

Wuxian thought back at the words he said that day. After being Lan Xichen said he could have been more 'mature' about the conversation, Wuxian snapped, "when has anyone ever cared about me and how I felt? He has you and his uncle, he has family. I have no one!"

Wuxian closed his eyes remembering those words. He was cast out by everyone a long time ago. It was only when Wei Wuxian wanted to die, that Wangji came forward about how he felt about him. Wuxian began to think more, would he have ever found out of Wuxian never 'died' and fell from that cliff?

Lan Wangji was watching Wuxian from a distance. He was giving him some space. Though he could feel through their bond that had been growing more and more by the day, that Wuxian was not okay. Wangji could feel Wuxian's worry and emotional pain. Wangji could feel his chest tighten as he felt as if he was lacking air. It wasn't him that was actually experiencing it but he was feeling the affects from the bond. He felt it from Wuxian. Wuxian was close to having a panic attack and Wangji could feel his lungs aching. So he gave in and went over to Wuxian and sat beside him underneath the tree before pulling him to his lap.

Wuxian snuggled up into his lap. He wrapped his arms around Wangji's torso and shoved his face into the crook of Wangji's neck. Wangji remained silent and just sat there comforting him. Wangji knew once Wuxian was ready, he will talk. In the meantime, he started to hum their song into his ear. The soothing sound of Wangji's vocals sent warmth into Wuxian's chest. From that feeling alone, his worries left him and he was grateful for Wangji's presence. He then realized that if he really had no one who cared about him, Wangji wouldn't be sitting here with him right now and comforting him.

"Thank you," Wuxian whispered, "you actually solved a mess in my head that I should have known long ago."

"Want to tell me what happened?" Wangji asked calmly.

"I am guessing your brother told you about what he said to me?" Wuxian asked.

Wangji sighed, "he did, and I told him that he needs to be mindful of what he says. He is older than me and even a sect leader. If he can't talk about things without thinking of the consequences first, then he needs to step back and leave me to fix my own issues...why do you ask?"

"I said something that had me thinking and I realized I was wrong just by sitting here in your lap," Wuxian said.

"What did you say?" Wangji asked.

"I said that I don't have family and I don't have people who care about me like you do. I realized that I have you...but without you, what do I really have?" Wuxian asked.

"You will not have to worry about me leaving you," Wangji said, "I meant it when I said I'd leave my sect for you. The more we are away from our timeline the more free I feel from all those rules and strict guidelines that I always followed. I am honestly wondering if I will be able to adjust going back to that when we return...you and I...we can do whatever you want. We can travel together if you want, which is something we talked about before."

Wuxian nodded, "if you are sure...I don't want to feel like I am keeping you from your family."

"You are not," Wangji said, "I can always visit them. My brother will understand if I choose to leave with you. Shufu might take a bit longer to understand but that is because he doesn't know what you and I have been through. I do not think he will fully understand either."

Wuxian nodded, "you know, since I discovered that those books are my grandmother's, I have thought about maybe searching for her...I'd like to know if she would actually want to see me."

"I will accompany you wherever you go," Wangji said, "I always will."

Wuxian buried his face into Wangji's chest, "I love you so much," Wuxian said, his voice was slightly muffled as he was talking into Wangji's chest.

Wangji let out a light chuckle and placed his hand on the back of Wuxian's head, "I love you too, A'Ying," he then placed a kiss on top of his head.

The two sat there together for most of the afternoon. Wuxian was loving the comfort and warmth Wangji gave him. Wuxian closed his eyes and melted into Wangji. Lan Wangji was just fine. Wangji loved holding Wuxian, especially when he was asleep. Wuxian would sometimes make small noises in his sleep, mostly if he was uncomfortable or if he was too warm. Wangji would coo when Wuxian's face would come into view and he'd see Wuxian's bottom lip popped out as if he was pouting in his sleep.

Wangji eventually got up carefully, without waking Wuxian, and carried him upstairs to their bedroom. Wuxian was making protests in his sleep when he felt that Wangji's body was not beside him. Wangji smiled and decided to lay with him. He removed Wuxian's shoes and his own before laying beside him on the bed. Wuxian immediately moved towards Wangji when he felt him close by. Wuxian wrapped himself around Wangji and rested his head on Wangji's chest. His legs entangled with Wangji's as well. Wangji shook his head. Even in his sleep, Wuxian can find ways to be invasive and shameless. Wangji loved him either way.