How are you my mum?

22. Proud of You

Keira's pov-
I wake up about 1hr later, i hear liv's stomach grumbling, i feel horrible for how she must feel, not wanting to eat, never feeling properly safe, i just want to take all that pain away from her
I go round to her and lightly shake her
Keira-"hey kiddo, do you want them chips, your stomachs really grumbling, i think it needs food"
Olivia-"uhhh"
Keira-"its completely your choice liv"
Olivia-"can i try a few please?"
Keira-"of course you can"
I go downstairs and cook some chips for liv
She follows me down
I cook the skinny fries she asked for, just how she said she wanted them
Keira-"here you go there a bit hot, i tried to do it just how you like it"
Olivia-"thanks mama, wheres mum"
Keira-"being a lazybum in bed still"
Olivia-"haha"
I sit at the breakfast bar with liv so she knows shes not alone
Keira-"im proud of you anyway but if you eat just one"
Olivia-"thank you mama"
She looks up at me with teary eyes so i hold her hand
Keira-"kiddo whats wrong"
Olivia-"im sorry mama, ive always hated food uhm ever since my foster dad started calling me things to do with my weight and he used to call me things like 'fat fuck' 'fat bitch' etc and ever since, ive never are in front of him, limited my eating to lose weight but yeah"
Keira-"thats okay kiddo, you are safe here, we will never call you anything like that i promise"
Olivia-"thank you mama, im really happy you and mum found me, if not i think i..i id be d..d..dead"
Keira-"hey hey no dont speak like that, your not we have you now, we are never letting you go"
She spins the chips around her bowl
Keira-"come on kiddo, just one to start, you can do this i know you can"
She slowly bites into one and goes to run off but i sit her back down
Keira-"let it go down, it will feel horrible, and i know you dont want to do this because keep this between me and you but i had a really dark place not long after your mum went to lyon and uh yeah anyway so i know how you feel, just let it digest into you kiddo"
She sits for 5 minutes
Keira-"done?"
Olivia-"can i have more?"
Keira-"of course you can kiddo"
She eats more slowly and lets them all go down one by one
She finishes the bowl
I quickly get up and hug her
Keira-"i. kiddo. am. so. proud. of. you"
Olivia-"thank you for making me do that mama, i needed that, and them chips were the best ever"
Keira-"haha you should try your mums pancakes, there amazing"
Olivia-"one thing at a time mama"
Keira-"of course we will go at your pace"
Olivia-"talking of mum, where is mum?"
Keira-"uhh shes still in bed i think, shall we go tell her the amazing news"
Olivia-"yayyy"
We both run upstairs to find my girlfriend crying on the bed, we both stop in our tracks almost skidding across the floor
Keira-"luce are you okay"
Lucy-"oh yeah these are happy tears, very happy tears"
Keira-"what why baby"
Lucy-"ive just got full custody over you"
She points at olivia
Olivia jumps into her arms
Olivia-"really mum"
Lucy-"yeah really babygirl"
Olivia-"what about mama"
"what do you mean what about me" i reply confused
Olivia-"are you my actual mama or just like you know what i mean"
Keira-"yeah i know what you mean"
Olivia-"is there like a place we can go to so she can be on my birth certificate"
Lucy-"of course there is babygirl"
Olivia-"could we go please?"
Lucy-"yeah of course, we will go tomorrow if you like?"
Olivia-"yayyy this is the best day ever!"
Keira-"anddddd more good news, our daughter just ate a whole bowl of chips"
Olivia goes all red
Lucy-"yayyy im so proud of you babygirl"
Olivia-"thank mama for it"
Lucy-"really?"
Keira-"yeah i uh i told her about my dark place when you went to lyon"
Lucy-"what do you mean?"
Keira-"well talk later"
Olivia's pov-
"Shall i let you two talk?" I question to my mums
Lucy-"no its okay, we can later"
Olivia-"can we play football"
Its now 4pm
Keira-"where darling?"
Olivia-"i dunno"
Lucy-"the beach?"
Olivia-"yess"
We quickly travel to the beach
We playing football with me banging goals in when suddenly my legs just stop moving and i freeze, i look up and see the clifs.
I zone out of everything.
Lucy-"liv are you okay, liv, liv, OLIVIA! babygirl please talk to me"
I start breathing heavier
I start hyperventilating
Lucy-"okay babygirl, its your mum yeah ive got you i promise your safe, just breathe for me"
My vision suddenly goes all blurry and i fall to the floor
Lucy's pov-
My daughter falls to the floor, i get kei to take over as she is better at these type of things, especially when i faint with them
I look around to see what could of caused this, i see cliffs. Not just any cliffs. The cliffs.
Lucy-"kei she needs to be moved, because when she wakes up, she will see the same thing, them cliffs, she needs to move now"
We quickly move her to the car so when she wakes she cant see the cliffs anymore
15 minutes later
She wakes up, still very unsettled
Lucy-"hey hey babygirl open your eyes for us"
She slowly opens her eyes
Lucy-"hey liv your okay, your safe, your with your mum and mama"
Olivia-"m..m..mum"
Lucy-"yeah its me babygirl ive got you"
I rock her back and fourth calming her breathing down
Lucy-"shshsh ive got you"
She falls asleep in my eyes and kei drives us back home
I carry liv into our house and lie her on the sofa with my arms still around her
Keira-"babe do you want some food?"
Lucy-"yeah please baby"
She comes and kisses me
I try to deepen the kiss
Keira-"mmm, not here lu"
Lucy-"mmm ive missed you"
I slowly kiss down her jawline to her neck
Keira-"mmmmm, l..l..lu s..stop n..not here"
Lucy-"mmm but you want to"
Keira-"yes, yes i really do but our daughter is lay in your arms"
Lucy-"mmmm later then"
Keira-"mmm of course"
I give her one last kiss as she goes to the kitchen