How are you my mum?

132. I really didnt miss youse

TW- SELF-HARM, SUICIDE ATTEMPT.  My sincere apologies if i do trigger anyone:)
Olivia's pov-
Right, she in on the wing so shouldn't come near her but she, she is centre back so thats hard, i can do this right? They cant be that silly to say stuff to me on the pitch right? Seville kick the second half on and she plays a long ball to the right wing where our left back tackles her quickly and plays a pass down the left wing, i make a run into tje box and juana quickly crosses it, i jump up for the ball but .... elbows me in the face
Keira-"REF!"
Ref-"no foul"
I get up my nose slightly bleeding but i hold it
Ruby Mace-"what you deserve you fat bitch" so much for nothing to say on the pitch
Olivia-"why are you at seville?"
Ruby-"im on loan here"
Olivia-"why because your so shit to play for city so you have to play in under 17 pha"
Ruby-"shut up your worthless nobody"
The ball comes to me so she two foots me through the back
Ref-"NO FOUL!"
Olivia-"REF WHAT THE FUCK!"
Ana-"REF!?"
The game carries on and i cannot get the ball as Ruby keeps tackling me and then saying shit after every single one. Luckily i havent seen Ivy yet. Yet.... we now have a corner and guess who has to mark me. Her.
Ivy-"clearly barcelona isnt going great hm?"
Olivia-"whos just won a champions league"
Ivy-"fat bitch"
The corner comes in and i get my head on it, it goes in the top corner
Olivia-"YESS COME ON!" the team all celebrate around me
Ruby-"slag"
Seville kick off and we then get a free kick after the ref finally called a foul on me from Ruby
Ruby-"oh my days whys the twat not dead yet!"
Ivy-"real shes worth nothing"
Ruby-"preach adopted fag, doesnt even have any parents who want her"
God that cuts deeper than a knife.
Fulltime Barcelona 3-2 Seville, i storm right over to the ref
Olivia-"REF DID YOU NOT SEE ALL THEM FOULS?"
Ref-"calm down"
Olivia-"no she shouldve been sent off" andrea comes and pulls me away
Ruby-"you know you cant beg the ref cause your a shit player"
I go into the changing room quickly grabbing my bag and walking to the car there words running over and over in my head. I wait by the car and then mum opens it so i quickly get in the back and put my headphones in. We pull up at home but i dont go inside, i walk down the road and quickly jog away my ankle killing from being studded by Ruby. Im limping all the way and i cant run anymore
My phone pings
Mummy❤️-
Liv your ankle
Olivia-
I got pills in my bag its fine
Lucy-
Just come home please im worried
Olivia-
No i cant so im not goodbye mum

I lock my phone and head to the beach, i walk along the seafront for a bit before heading to the woods. I walk round the woods before finding a perfect place to sit. I empty my bag and find the things i need from my bag. A blade. Pills. Sharper knife. Ruby and Ivy are right, im worth nothing and no one does care about me, i am just some special adopted kid no one wants, im such a fat bitch. I deserve to die just like they want me to, im so over my life. I take to my arms with my smaller blade and cut deep, the blood pouring from my arms, now for the two worst bits, the bits that are/they have to end my life, if they dont then i give up woth everything, i deserve to die just like Ruby told me. I grab my sharper knife and bring it upto my stomach, i push it into my stomach "ahhh fuck" it feels so painful but then so nice at the same time to finally know i can get out of my shit life, fianlly my mums can have some kid who they actually want "i push it in further and create a large slice of my stomach which instantly starts pouring and makes me feel dizzy, i quickly take all the pills in the pack and i am soon passed out, bleeding out in the woods, hoping i will die.
Lucy's pov-
Wheres my babygirl. Where is she? Whys she not back yet? My wrist vibrates, i grab my phone and track her location, the beach, so she ahould be back soon, i leave it ankther 30 minutes and shes not back yet.
Lucy-"i cant do this. I cant wait around waiting for her to appear. For all i know she could be dying and were just sat around waiting for her to appear"
Keira-"where is her last location"
Lucy-"erm the woods"
Keira-"then lets go"
Alexia-"ill wait here chicas"
Lucy-"thanks ale"
Keira quickly grabs the keys out of my hands "you are not drivijg luce" "ok fine" i run to the passenger side quickly doing my belt up, keira starts the car quickly and zooms off the drive and down the Barcelona roads until we reach the entrance of the woods, she quickly drives up the muddy road and parks in the carpark, i follow her tracker and then i see her. A figure lay there, no movement nothing, pure nothing, shes dead im sure. I freeze
Keira-"LUCY COME ON NOW! YOU CANT GIVE UP ON HER!"
I sprint to her side while Keira calls an ambulance and Alexia who is soon also here.
Alexia-"chica?"
Lucy-"shes been stabbed i think"
Keira-"what by someone else?"
Lucy-"well yeah wheres the knife?"
Keira-"i dont know luce look at her wrists"
Lucy-"no its definitely someone else, she was getting better". My phone pings, Newsfeed has tagged you in a post
Teenage girl found lying lifeless on the floor of the woods, surrounded by Lucy Bronze, Keira Walsh, Alexia Putellas and Paramedics. Our best wishes out to her and her family.

Lucy-"oh piss of news"
Keira-"ignore it lu, focus on her"
Alexia-"hey chicas, i dont think anyone else did this"
Lucy-"what?"
She points to the bloody knife next to her
Lucy-"oh my babygirl, i am so sorry for not protecting you, ive got you now please dont leave us"
Paramedic-"only one can come in the ambulance"
Keira-"go luce, me and ale will follow"
Lucy-"you sure?"
Alexia-"si"
I jump in the back of the ambulance, holding livs hand the whole way. We pull up at the hospital and they rush her straight in, im soon wrapped up in Keiras embrace
Alexia-"shell be okay" she says through tears
Lucy-"god i hope so, shes been trying so hard"
Keira-"ruby mace and her fucking ex"
Lucy-"oh babygirl please be okay, weve got you" we go into the relatives rooms and wait for hours. Why is there no update, theres literally nothing. Then a doctor comes in
Doc-"hiya, weve stiched up her stabbing wound as well as the wrists and we have now put a tube in to tske the pills out from the overdose, erm im sorry to ask but this a suicide attempt?" I sigh "yeah, yeah it was"
Doc-"we have therapists here"
Lucy-"ive tried, im trying to get her into one, she just, she cant acceot help"
Keira-"sounds like someone i know"
Lucy-"yeah"
Doc-"shes not awake yet but you can come and see her, we may have to put her into a coma for a few days so the body can recover from all the wounds because they are serious"
Lucy-"thanks" i walk into her room and choke on my tears, i collapse into keis arms soaking her shoulder "our babygirl"
Keira-"i kmow babe i know"
Alexia-"ill give you some space"
Lucy-"you can stay if you want ale, shed want you here"
Alexia-"she really wanted to go"
Lucy-"yeah this one, since shes been with us this is the most serious one"
Alexia-"what do you mean? Since shes been with you?"
Lucy-"oh she tried to before but like she nearly jumped off a cliff"
Alexia-"ph poor girl"
Lucy-"she just...she doesnt know how to control her emotions without feeling pain, thats what she grew up around, control emotions with pain, ahd thats my fucking fault, shed be okay if i had fucking kept her"
Keira-"hey hey no, you are not going back to that, ive told you before you cant control what they did"
Lucy-"no but i couldve protected her from it"
Keira-"lucy stop it, we need to be there for her now and however long she needs again, this was a serious one lu shes gonna need us"
Lucy-"im sorry" we walk to her room, shes lay lifeless in a bed with wires all around her "god shes gonna hate it when she wakes up"
Keira-"exactly why she needs us"
Alexia-"im gonna go to mapis i..i cant do this im sorry i cant bare to see her like this"
Lucy-"okay ale, we can always move house"
Alexia-"no dont be silly, i just don't like her with all the..the wiry things what are they in inglais?"
Keira-"just tubes ale"
Alexia-"si them"
Lucy-"shes okay ale...well i hope im begging, but if you want to go we will call you as soon as we know anything"
Alexia-"bye chicas T'estimo (i love you)"
Keira-"bye ale"
She leaves and a vile silence fills her room, i zone out and tears fill my eyes and start pouring down my face, i grab livs hand and hold it, crying onto it.
Lucy-"oh babygirl im so sorry i didnt protect you again, you shouldn't of had to do this again, were here babygirl, whenever your ready, were here, please dont leave us not like this, dont leave me with your last words being goodbye mum to me on text, were here liv, weve got you babygirl"
I sigh deeply and look up at keira whos falling asleep, i sit back up into my chair and call her over "baby come here" she gets up and i let her sit on my lap, she nuzzles her head into my chest and her eyes instantly close "ive got you both, i promise kei, eu te amo (i love you- Portuguese)"
Keira-"i love you luce, i love her so much aswell, i cant bare look at her"
Lucy-"i know kei i know, goodnight, close those eyes, shes not going anywhere shes safe"
She closes her eyes and her body soon gets heavier meaning shes asleep, im tired but i cant sleep, im so scared, so worried about her, my mind wont stop running.
AUTHORS NOTES-
I REALLY APOLOGISE IF ANY OF THUS HAS CAUSED TRIGGERS, IM OPEN TO TALK🤍
I also want to say i dont mean any offence by my story, i saw a post on tiktok and the comments just idk they made me think ab it, i do not mean any offence by my story, my apologies if you have found anything offensive throughout my story. Please let me know.