How are you my mum?

67. First Game

Olivia's pov-
2 days have passed now, one day was training and a hard gym session and then yesterday was gym. This morning we have a training session and then later on we have our first game, the first group game against Belgium, im quite excited but also shitting myself for it, i know its just the first group game but its my first ever england game, yeah ive trained with the oldies😂 but this, this is way different. I wake up at 9 training at 11. The game kicks off at 2.45. That is such odd timing but here we are, im not sure what to expect really. I make my way down to breakfast after millie wakes up so we can walk down together.
Millie-"you nervous?"
Olivia-"absolutely shitting myself"
Millie-"youll be fine, just play like you do and youll be amazing"
Olivia-"thanks mil, is this your first tournament to?"
Millie-"yeah first major tournament but not first game"
I nod as we reach the canteen, i see ivy sat at a table so i sit with her.
Olivia-"morning pretty"
Ivy-"oh hey"
Olivia-"why arent you eating?"
Ivy-"i feel like im about to throw up all my nerves"
Olivia-"you will be ok"
I sit next to her, putting a reassuring hand on her thigh.
Ivy-"thanks" she interlocks our fingers on her thigh.
Olivia-"you look tired"
Ivy-"i am i couldnt sleep"
Olivia-"well you go back upstairs, ill quickly eat something and meet you there ok?"
She nods and goes off.
Jess-"is she ok?"
Olivia-"yeah shes just nervous as we all are i guess"
Jess-"yeah"
I quickly grab a bowl of cereal and eat it before making my way upstairs. I knock on her door and she opens it.
Olivia-"let get you into bed"
She follows me, i lay down first and she lies next to me resting her head on my chest.
Olivia-"sleep tight"
She doesnt reply and i look down to see she is quickly asleep. Doing this is comforting for me too but it just makes me want mum and mama cuddles that little bit more. She wakes up half an hour later.
Olivia-"feel better?"
She nods "yeah i needed that"
Olivia-"i need to go get ready for training and so do you, you think you can do that?"
Ivy-"yeah ill be ok now thank you"
I make my way to my room across the hall and see my phone has gone off a few times.
📳Ckkkkk-
Chloe-
Morning olivia, im so right at everything but i will tell you how they are when your back so i dont worry you. Good luck for your first game, i know youll do great. ✌️
Olivia-
Thanks ck.

📳Mummyyy❤️-
Lucy-
Good luck today babygirl i know your gonna smash it just like you always do, love you lots. Xx
Olivia-
Thank you mum im so nervous to be honest, i feel like im gonna mess it up or something but love you more mum xx
📳Mama❤️-
Keira-
Youll do amazing liv youve probably already heard that but you will im sure of it, ill be watching! Love you baba xx
Olivia-
Thank you mama, love you more xx

I lock my phone and head to the pitches. We train hard but not to difficult not wanting to burn ourselves out. Belgium are a good team, nat tells us. I head back to my room to get ready for the coach, its not a long trip and all the team hotels are based around the stadiums. Theres only a few odd ones that are further away. We will leave at 1.50 as its a 20 minutes drive which gives us over half an hour until kick off. The time comes for us to get on the coach. I sit next to ivy as she says she wants someone next to her today.
Ivy-"im sorry i said i didnt want you next to me, it wasnt about you"
Olivia-"i know i know dont worry"
I fall asleep listening to music, letting myself get in the zone, the first game without my mum's in the stands, theres probably not gonna be many people here, only parents as were the u17s not many people look at us. We arrive at the stadium at 2.15, half an hour before kick, we walk through the stadium and see our cameraman for the instagram, i do a peace ✌️ towards it and walk through with my headphones in, im nervous, very nervous. We inspect the pitch before going back in and then coming out to warm up. Im not expecting to start as im a newbie so they will want the strongest squad starting. We warm up and go back in at 2.40, 5 minutes until kick.
Natalie-"right girls, the formation is 4-2-3-1 so the first team to start the u17s euros is:
Keeper- Teyah
Defence- Mary, Isabella, Emma, Amelia
2 defensive Midfields- Millie, Mia
3 attacking midfielders- Ivy, Jess, Ava
And then the striker is- Olivia the captain is Mia"
Olivia? She just said olivia? Theres only one olivia? Me? Im starting? Oh my god.
Ivy-"liv did you here that were both starting"
Olivia-"i..i..i cant believe it, i need the bathroom"
I run to the bathroom hoping to control my breathing, i am not having a panic attack before kick off. I sit there and wash my face calming myself down, my breathing slows and i compose myself before going back out. I dont check my phone knowing that will make it worse. I go back to the changing rooms with worried looks from ivy.
Olivia-"im fine dont worry"
Ivy-"come on its time to lineup, you ready"
Olivia-"as ill ever be"
How is it possible that less than a year ago i was getting beat everyday, hating life, and now im starting in the u17s womens euros. Wow.
The game kicks off.
Lucy's pov-
I switch on the tv to find that olivia is starting. My fucking daughter is starting.
I sprint to the kitchen
Lucy-"KEIRA KEIRA!"
Keira-"what what is it"
Lucy-"OLIVIA, OLIVIA"
Keira-"lucy calm down what is it"
Lucy-"OUR DAUGHTER IS STARTING!"
Keira-"OH MY GOD"
Lucy-"LOOK LOOK!"
We both run into the living room and see them lined up
Keira-"AHHH BABY!" she jumps into my arms
Lucy-"we did it kei, we saved her"
Keira-"we did lu we did"
All of a sudden theres a knock on the door, i pull a confused face at keira
I open the door and see Chloe
Chloe-"SHES IN LUCY SHES IN!"
Lucy-"I KNOW CHLOE I KNOW!" i start crying happy tears
Chloe-"you saved her lucy, you and keira did it"
I hug her
Lucy-"thank you chloe, do you want to come in to watch?" She nods and i let her in, i sit next to kei, admiring her, shes so pretty, shes got that proud mum look on her face
Keira-"what"
Lucy-"nothing"
I turn my head to the screen and focus highly on it.
Olivia's pov-
Im extremely nervous but as soon as the whistle blows they disappear. This team is good, theyre very good at keeping possession, but if you intercept, you have a good chance of scoring as there not very compact, there not very 'team like' they play in a team yes, but there not a team. I intercept it in there half just before the edge of the box, the keeper is off their line and it enters my head, do i risk it or do i pass it, there's no one to pass to, do i try and run pass or do i chip it, do i risk it, or play safe and risk loosing the ball, im doing this. I pull my leg back, and strike the ball, lifting it over the defence, its like time stops as i watch it loop over, i close my eyes and hear the net ripple, i open my eyes. I went in.
Olivia-"YESSSSSS"
I run to the corner and the team bundles me to the floor.
Millie-"WHAT A FUCKING GOAL!"
Olivia-"I CANT BELIEVE IT"
Ivy-"that was incredible"
We get up and take position again. Jess scores off my corner and then Isabella scores from a free kick. We go into halftime 3-0 up.
Natalie-"well done girls great first half, mia are you ok, i noticed you messing with your hammy"
Mia-"can i speak to you away from everyone"
They go outside and come back in a few seconds later
Natalie-"right mia your gonna come off and charli is gonna come on and the captains armband ooo, olivia! Give it to olivia please"
She hands me the armband
Olivia-"me?"
Natalie-"hello captain"
I put it on and feel pride to be 'captain' even if it is just for one half it feels amazing to be able to wear it. We go back out for the second half and we start fast, catching pretty much every ball they pass, we score again, i feel so much joy playing in this but i just feel like i dont deserve to be here, i put off the thoughts and carry on playing, we finish the game. And we won 6-0 me scoring another 2 and ivy scoring again. We go back to the dressing room and have a few celebrations. I open my phone to see messages.
📳Mama❤️-
So so so proud of you baba, i knew you would smash it! Captains armband too🥹 love you baba xx
📳Mummyyy❤️-
BEYOND PROUD OF YOU BABYGIRL, watched every minute, i loved it, i wish i was there, love you so so much xx
📳Ckkkkk-
GO ONN YOU!
📳Rachy💕-
Captain Bronze-Walsh eh? Proud of you kiddo
📳Single Wingle(Leah)-
Proud of you kid, missing you x
📳Lessi-
Me and rach watched every minute of it, prouder than proud of you! Xx

I dont reply to them feeling overwhelmed. Ivy drags me up and i start dancing. We get back on the coach, i decide to sit alone to take it all in and also reply to my messages privately.
📳Rachy💕-
Thanks autie rachy xx
📳Single wingle-
Thanks single wingle😂xx

I like chloes and lessis message and then respond to my mums's.
📳Mummyyy❤️-
Thanks mum, i wish you were here to love you xx
📳Mama❤️-
I dont deserve to be here mama xx
Keira-
What do you mean, of course you do x
Olivia-
No i should just go back to my old life, i deserve to be beat everyday
Keira-
Oh olivia, no one deserves that especially not you! X
Olivia-
I do, i dont deserve to be living, i should never of messaged mum that day, they shouldve killed me, im taking up someones spot here
Keira-
Olivia. Stop it now. You are not taking up anyones spot at all, you have proved your point to be there x
Olivia-
Im just here cuz im youses daughter
Keira-
Of course your not!
Olivia-
Am
Keira-
Not
Olivia-
Am
Keira-
Not
Olivia-
Ill just kms
Keira-
Dont even think about it, i thought you was feeling better
Olivia-
I was i was but now im realising that i dont deserve the life i have, i shouldn't be here, or even with you and mum
Keira-
Olivia please stop talking like this, you deserve the world and you especially deserve to be with me and mum
Olivia-
Whatever
Keira-
Whats caused this?
I lock my phone and close my eyes, replaying everything thats happened to me and deserving it
Keira's pov-
Keira-"lu liv needs help, im scared"
Lucy-"what do you mean"
Keira-"im scared shes gonna do something"
Lucy-"like?"
I show her the messages
Lucy-"whats caused this?"
Keira-"i dont know, i asked her and she went offline"
Lucy-"somethings happened"
Keira-"i know im scared"
Lucy-"we need to be out there kei"
Keira-"how lu"
Lucy-"talk to Gareth, im going to our daughter whether he likes it or not"
Keira-"i love you lu"
Lucy-"i love you to kei"
AUTHORS NOTES-
Posted 2 chapters how lucky are youse!