Second Chance | Book 2

Chap. 37 Bring Up The Past

We had just finished eating pizza and were completely full. I had my back laying on his chest while we were watching a movie. He had his arms secured around my body as if I would vanish the second he let go.

"Jimin..." I called him softly.

"Yes, love?"

"Can you tell me what happened... around the day I disappeared?"

I turned my head back to look at him, finding him already looking down at me. He had a blank expression making it hard for me to know if it was a mistake to bring it up.

"I'm sure the boys have told you that."

"Yeah, but they only told me from their perspective. I want to know your side of story."

He didn't say anything for a moment making me regret for asking him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." I said looking down at my hands.

I felt a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Don't be. Don't ever be sorry for asking me questions. I don't care if they are some serious, stupid, sensitive or heavy questions. I'll answer them all and be honest with you. I just had to think of how to start, it's not that I don't wanna tell you or talk about it."

"You really don't..."

"I remember waking up in the hospital the day after I tried to end my life." He started not letting me finish talking. "I was angry that I was still alive and that they saved me. And then Yoongi-hyung had enough of me. He snapped, raising his voice at me. That was my first time ever to get scolded by him like that. He was really angry at me. A few days later we had a funeral. It was raining the whole week. I felt like the skies were crying with me."

Flashback

Jimin POV

People started to leave the graveyard one by one. I had to send my daughter and her mother back because it was raining so heavily and didn't want them to get sick. And since my son was barely a week old, he was back home with Mrs Han.

I stood there watching down on the grave while being completely soaked by the rain. But I couldn't care less. My mind was only thinking of her and our memories together.

A hand was placed on my shoulder to gain my attention.

"Jimin... let's go home." I hear Jin talking to me.

"You guys go. I'm gonna stay."

"Jimin you're..."

I turned my head towards him and he shut up.

"I wanna be alone." I said giving him a serious look. Soon after they all left leaving me standing there all alone. They have been here for over 4 hours in the rain, so I understood if they wanted to leave.

I got down on my knees feeling how the warm teardrops rolling down my cold skin. My breath were uneven and even if I tried to breathe normally, I couldn't.

I laid my head slowly down over my arm that had stretched over her grave. My face was turned toward the gravestone that had her name written on.

I finally let out my emotions take over me and started to cry loudly. The rain was hitting me on the side of my face.

"W-what are you doing here, pumpkin? Why d-did you have to leave me s-so soon? I'm struck and dispersed over, i-it's even hard to breathe now. What to do with the living now, huh? I feel like... I'm dying a hundred times."

What kind of Conspiracy is this? Life is turning, in a way I could never prepare myself for. We were supposed to grow old together, pumpkin. Build a family. How am I supposed to raise our son without his mother? What am I supposed to tell him when he asks about you?