FEAR

41

•KEEGAN•

When I saw her I wanted to strip her of her pain. I could see it in her eyes, on her skin. I was too weary to touch her. I had the desire to hug her but I couldn't when she looked the way she did. I've seen her down before but this was different. She had no strength to yell to fight when Mateo died she at the very least threw a tantrum, it was ugly but I would rather see that than this. When we got her in the car she barely responded to anyone touching her. She was present but her mind was somewhere else. It's only been a couple of hours I keep telling myself. She'll get better but it hurt to see her like this and not be about to do anything about it.

"Los quiero fuera, Verena." I want them out, Verena. Marcus took her hand. She looked up at him but nothing changed in her expression.

We sat in a small dining room at a safe house. Esperanza traveled here just to make Verena's favorite soup. She took too bite of the carrot before moving the spoon around for the past five minutes. I've lost my appetite and it seems like König and Ghost did as well.

"No voy a pelear contigo por esto."  I will not fight you over this. She took her hand back and waved him away.

"Ella necesita a esos inútiles. Dejala." She needs those useless men, leave her alone. Esperanza snapped waving her wooden spoon at him.

"Marcus wants us gone." Ghost said once Marcus left the room.

She raised her eyebrows briefly and continued to stir the spoon around in her soup. I grabbed her hand her gaze didn't meet mine and I was almost grateful I didn't want the hollowness. I would rather see her rage, fire, and chaos. I wanted it, to think it used to piss me off and now I'm praying I will see it again. "Come." She let me take her hand. She didn't even blink.

I took her upstairs to the bathroom, lifted her on the sink, and turned around to turn on the bathtub. "I won't look. I'm not trying to make you do anything." She didn't respond.

"Make the water hot." She responded and I wanted to glance back to see what her expression would be instead I grabbed some candles, and a bath bomb from the closet. When I came back she already stripped off and was in the tub. Her eyes were closed and her head lay on her knees. The water was scorching, still coming out of the facet. She didn't even give it time to cool down. Women?! I turned the water off.

"Doesn't it burn?" She shrugged, closing her eyes. There was a long silence as I lit the candles and threw the bath bomb in.

When I was about to leave. She spoke. "Don't go." She sounded so small. This was probably the most I was ever going to get from her right now. I wish the circumstances were different. I turned around. I don't know why but I felt nervous, unsure. "I read the report."

"The first report about the girls?" I sat against the wall facing her. She kept her eyes closed and she laid her head on the side of the tub. She nodded her head."I'm so sorry."

The report came back with the names and ages of the girls on the first floor in one room only. Four women, from ages 24-30, all drugged and carrying different diseases.

"I." Her voice resonated in the bathroom. "I created them! I made them more powerful and made sure everyone had money I had a part in that fucking sex ring just as much as everyone that worked in there. I was a part of those women's suffering. It's my fault."

"You didn't know." It was wrong for me to defend her especially when I wouldn't have two months ago.

"Don't defend me. I should've known. Even so, I knew about Arron Martinez and I didn't do anything about it until Mateo was already dead."

"You could burn the rest of the world down and I'll praise you for it. I'll let you do it all because I don't care about anyone but you."

She shook her head. Her eyebrows were tight and her eyes looked around like she was looking for something. She let her tears fall and laid her head back. She was in her head again. Nothing good because her tears kept falling silently. "I ruined you guys too, I didn't think I would care so much."

I got up and got into the water fully clothed, tub was big enough for the two of us so big that we wouldn't touch each other unless we got close. "This is my choice, Verena."

"I'm wrong for you, for them too."

•VERENA•

            We were quiet the only noise made was the sound of the water moving and our breathing. "Verena please speak." His voice came out soft and gentle. This wasn't Keegan. I'm sure he was more affected by my minor injuries than König and Simon but he has never been this soft to me. "What did he do to you?"

He was still fully clothes when he pulled me into him. I relaxed between his legs.

"I don't remember anything, my memories are hazy" He nestled his head into my neck. As much as it frightens me that my brain responds to trauma by blocking out memories I was content in that aspect. What I do remember was traumatizing enough.

My nose started to tingle and my eyes started to water. I let go of a sob not caring anymore. "It's okay." I turned around as much as I could and wrapped my arms around his neck ignoring the pain in my ribs. He rubbed my back and let me cry.

I felt wrong even asking him for comfort. He told me to come but I could've told him to leave, we both know I couldn't mentally give him what he wanted yet he comforts me. I'm selfish.

•_•

Unedited idk how bad it is!!