FEAR

43

•KEEGAN•

                    "You still haven't gotten the fucking test." My mother yelled through the phone. Jennifer's baby was born. I've been too busy to see her, to answer her calls/messages, to call my family, to email anyone back (even my great aunt expressed her deepest displeasure in my absences) because I was so stupidly blindly obsessed with a woman who 1 will never want me the way I want her and 2 will kill me or die herself then admitting she wants me. I've never been much of a fuck but I was admittedly, regrettably disgusted with myself. "You're son was born and you were wearing exactly?"

"Mom please." I got up from the leather office chair and walked over to the nicely stocked bar. Whiskey, scotch, tequila. . . I took the most expensive, poured it into a glass took it down in my shot. Then I pour another before sitting down. I groaned irritably. "I've been busy." Shit excuse.

"Busy or not. You should've come to the birth. Until you know if that baby is yours or not. You should've been there! Oh by the gods Keegan. . ." She ranted. Her voice became high-pitched and frantic as she continued to call me out. "I've raised you better. I know I did. I know how you feel about that woman and trust me Keegan I do like her but your kids will always come first."

"Can I find out if that's my kid's first mom?"

"No!? You had more than enough time!" She paused and I downed the glass. Not even savory it. It went down burning and painfully. Tasted horrible and I don't get why Marcus even keeps this shit. Her tone softens. "Are you doing this to avoid leaving her?"

And there it was. My mother read me. It should be illegal for her to know shit like this. She knows me and lying wouldn't help. "Yes," I said trying to swallow my shame.

"Oh, Keegan." She said sadly, confirming my demise. Yeah, it's bad. "You need to do what's right."

"If I do it I'll lose her." Would even matter because I might die before I even get to see the kid before I even get to know whether he is mine. Fuck I needed another drink.

The door opened and there she was the devil. She doesn't even know, no she fucking knows but she still looks at me like nothing, no expression and it was really pissing me off. She just doesn't care that I need her. "Mom I gotta go." I hung up before she could yell at me some more. Then I put my phone on Do Not Disturb because I knew she would call again for at least the next 30 minutes. Our conversation from the other night didn't change anything between us. She became cold again.

"That was your mom?" She was starting to wear her overly expensive clothes again but now she was covering herself more than before. She wore a white turtle neck and black slacks with heels you could hear from down the hall.

"Yes." I stopped looking at her and picked up some papers I was looking at before I went down the rabbit hole. I wanted nothing more than her to leave right now yet I also want her with me all the time. She stood beside me leaning against the desk with some documents in her hand.

"Has she told you anything about Jennifer?" I mentally whined. I leaned back into my seat and looked up at her. Instant regret. I can't even put into words how beautiful she is to me.

"The baby was born." There was no point in lying. She would just find out anyway.

"You could take the time to go see them, Keegan." She whispered. I looked away, for once I wanted her to be a bad person on this at least.

"I don't want to," I said honestly. "The kid doesn't deserve that, I know but I'm not going to go see them."

"Why?" She grabbed my hand and I embraced it. I felt like a teenager. I trailed my fingers in her palm. I had the urge to pull her over my lap.

"There's no point." I pulled her hand up to my lip and kissed the back of her hand. "I don't think it's a good idea." It's not like he'll remember me anyway.

•VERENA•

              They're hiding something from me. Do these idiots think I'm stupid? First Simon and his pushing for me to talk to König when he never really cared before now Keegan neglecting what could be his firstborn. I walked out of the office after patting his shoulder. My dogs waited for me outside, they quickly got up and followed me down the stairs. I looked everywhere for his kitchen, dining room, and stables until finally, I found him in the gym. He was in the middle of a set, weighted pulls up. I waited more like stared at his back muscle flex through his shirt and his veins popped out. He looked like he was pushing himself more than usual.

I think the best thing to do is to keep my distance. Every time he touches me I lose all common sense. Shame just shameful.

He dropped down breathing heavily, he stared up at the ceiling his hands now on his head. I opened my mouth but no words formed. Godamnit Verena, focus. "König." I gripped my phone in my hand so hard my knuckles were turning white. He put his head down slowly, his eyes lowering to me. "Hey."

"What." He said softly, taking off the pull-up belt before turning around and walking toward another machine. I order my dogs to stay before following him, keeping 5 feet away from him. Shit, I didn't think about how I was going to ask him. Whatever just be straightforward.

"Keegan and Simon-" He groaned. "Are hiding something from me."

"Was that a question?" He lifted two dumbells that were heavier than me and laid down on a bench. With ease he lifted them. Letting out a deep grunt after every rep.

"What are you guys hiding?" He paused, sitting and placing the dumbells on his thighs as he turned to look at me.

"Why didn't you ask them? You came to me after how many days of not speaking to me?" His words could've been harsh but he was calm. "You came to ask me that? I don't know get out."

"König-"

"Darian." He snapped. "König is my family name."

"I'm sorry," I don't know why I was apologizing but I kept going. "I don't think I'll be good for you so when you mentioned Denise I thought you wanted to pursue and I still think she's better than I am for you."

"Get out." I signed. So much for that.

Fuck! I will find out you turds.

                After a shower and tucking in my five fur babies. I walked to Keegan's room, he was in the gym with Simon while König. . . Darian was in the kitchen eating whatever Esperanza made him. I grabbed his laptop typing in his password before going through it. Nothing, everything on here I had copies of. I checked his emails and scrolled nothing but then something caught my eye. Plane Tickets. Three plane tickets right outside Las Almas.

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