•VERENA•
I woke up to Dahlia crying. I glance at the clock it's 2:32 am. I got a crib delivered along with other necessities. I threatened to fire everyone if I didn't get everything for her, at that point if I didn't even care. My room was filled with everything she could need. It's been a while since I had last taken care of a baby or even been around one nothing about this shit comes naturally I don't care what anyone says. Women take care of the house and children my ass. As soon as I was drifting to sleep she would scream out crying only to fall back to sleep. I think she has a cold maybe a fever but I have no fucking idea what to give her. I had to google how to use a thermometer. I decided that I would let the doctor check her tomorrow. I just had to push through the night. I don't know how people do this.
Every single time she cried I wanted to cry with her. Then I keep in mind that I have to keep it together, for her and Theresa and Manny. Fuck you, Manny. Fuck you. Fuck me, I failed oh I felt this in my fucking soul. This was a part of my life, right? I failed, I wasn't there when he needed me again, and I couldn't do anything. I should've reached out more. I should have inserted, intruded just been there for him.
It didn't help that Dahlia was the perfect mix of both of her parents. One I watched died right in front of me. She had her mother's eyes.
I gave her the bottle that fell to the side of the crib. It was more than halfway finished. I groaned she was going to need another one. She held her bottle on her own, which wasn't common but I used this time to go downstairs to make her another. If Theresa was alive she would never use powdered milk for babies- or formula whatever this was called, no matter how expensive it was but I got no tittie juice so I bought some formula from Germany.
Simon was in the kitchen, he was middle of drinking something. I ignored him, too drained to care about anything but this bottle of milk. "Verena-"
I gripped the handle of the cabinet, I didn't like how strained his voice was like he hadn't had sleep in a while. I could see the dark circle under his eyes. I am not sure how often he smokes but I could smell it. I didn't have the energy to argue but now I felt my heart thumping in my ear. I could strangle him I wasn't beyond murder and if this baby finished that bottle before I could get back up there I was going to stab him and leave him down here to bleed out.
How long was he down here for? The little (bitch of a) voice said in my head.
I shouldn't worry about this bastard. But I could used him.
"If you want to help go pick her up before she cries, Simon." He turns to do just that.
When I finished making the bottle I struggle getting up the stairs, I was getting an elevator in my house. I never thought or wanted it before. It was too snobby but in this moment one would be great. When I walked into my room, Simon was holding Dahlia. She was wide awake bobbing her head. I took her from his arm and put the bottle against her mouth. She latched on instantly. "Happy birthday." I turned to look at him, I felt my lip start to quiver and I started to cry while soothing Dahlia back to sleep.
He kissed my tears off my cheek. I've had worse birthdays. I shrugged. "Not very happy."
"I'm so sorry." He pushed my hair off my face and kissed my temple, cheek, corner of my lips. I wanted to hug him, I needed a hug. I hugged him bring careful not to hurt Dahlia.
"I'm so tired." I cried. He nodded understanding that I didn't mean I was just sleepy.
"I got you." I nodded accepting that I couldn't do this on my own nor could I stay mad at him forever. I hugged him even tighter, god he smelled good despite the lingering smell of cigarettes and his body was so strong and warm. I pulled away.
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FanfictionVerena is the biggest threat to national security. The biggest drug lord anyone has seen in decades. She's cruel and malicious and nobody has been able to stop her, yet. When her bodyguard had to retire he hired two to protect her and a new arms dea...