Forever, you and me? (YiZhan)

chapter 1

Walking through the streets. Lonely. I'm on my way to visit my brother. The only person I have left with me. Others chose to leave me. The only person who cared for me was my brother.

Deep down within me I wish I had that particular someone still with me. But it wasn't meant to be.

I had everything. Money. Cars. House. A high paying good job. People think what else anyone can desire. I'm leading a perfect life in others eyes. But what about my own. Only my heart knows what I long for.

Keeping aside these thoughts I realised i was already standing in front of my brother's house. I rang the bell.

"Hi zhan" my brother's husband. Liu haikuan opened the door for me.

"Hi ge" i entered the house.

Sometimes I envy my brother xiao cheng for having such a loving family. My parents have never been open minded. My brother came out as a gay person. When this happened he was kicked out of our house. How much I hate our parents for that.

He moved in with his best friend and now husband liu haikuan. They fell in love soon, both got stable jobs. They live a happy life. I also wish I had this bliss in my life. The happiness of having a complete family. But I know I can never have that.

"Uncle zhannnnn" shouted my nephew. Oh I forgot to introduce him. Liu fanxiang. My nephew. They later adopted a boy who they found on the street. He's a very cute and loving boy.

Now that's what you call a complete and happy family. What I long for. But I can never have.

"Oh hello zhan you're here" gege rushed out of his room. I saw him limping a bit so I decided to tease him.

"Gege i see someone limping. Hmmm let me guess. Had a rough night did ya?" I teased him.

"Oh shut up zhan. Not in front of the kid. He's only 10" said my brother xiao cheng.

"Ok gege"

"We'll have dinner. Fanxiang was hungry so he already had his dinner." Said xiao cheng

"Xiang you did not wait for me. Bad nephew" i pouted my lips cutely acting all angry. Even though he's 10 already but in my eyes he's still a little child who needs nothing but love.

"Uncle ewwww stop pouting you look very ugly while doing that" Xiang made a weird face saying this.

"Okok I'll stop"

"Zhan come here let's eat and liu fanxiang go to sleep right now. No more tantrums" said cheng

We all sat at the dining table and started eating.

"Zhan pls find someone for yourself. Please don't drown yourself into this pool of sadness." Said haikuan. He is allowed to talk about my personal life. I gave him the right to do so.

"Gege"

"Zhan Kuan is correct. Why do you have to trouble yourself in the thoughts of him. Let go of him now. Please brother I don't want you to be sad." Said cheng

"Ge i let go of him already years ago. I know he is not mine and can never be. But I guess the word move on is not available in my dictionary. I don't want anyone if it's not him."

"Have you ever tried to move on? That's the real question."

Many thoughts came to my mind. Did I actually try to move on? Did I do that? Am I still holding onto him even though he's far away from me? "Gege I- I did try to move on"

"Zhan"

"Ge please don't trouble yourself with me. I decided to live this life. And even though I'm not content with it but I'm living still. With the happy memories of him."

"Do whatever you want zhan. We'll not talk about this anymore" said haikuan.

"You always say that gege" I said with a chuckle cause thats the reality. These two people always comfort me. I'm grateful for them.

We finished the dinner and I went back to my house. I unlocked the door.

Same old lonely and dark house. No one was waiting for me to come back. No one actually did. The one that I wanted was never mine to begin with. So what can I do?

I hate the fact that everyone has moved on but I'm still stuck in the past. Reminiscing it.

Everyone that you hate or love will forever be engraved on your heart. And he's the one I love. Never hated him. Never will. He chose his family. Family does come first ofc. I chucked. I don't even have mine to begin with so how can I understand that feeling.

I drank the wine I had. Alcohol is the only solution for me now. Being drunk makes me carefree. Just how I want to be.

"Loving him is a sin that i committed and I always will commit that sin."
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Guys I'm back with a new story. This is a new idea that I got. I'm just in love with the idea. I hope I'll be able to execute it just how I've thought about it.
-yizhan_BJYX