Forever, you and me? (YiZhan)

chapter 11

"but I never took that as a positive thing. I always believed that a woman can do anything and should be treated fairly.

I respected liying a lot during our fights but in the end received nothing but physical assaults. I lost respect for myself. I thought I wasn't capable of anything. I found myself to be weak and submissive. Just out of love. She would use me for sex whenever she wanted and throw me away according to her own will. She had sex with people in our own bed.

She tortured me so much both physically and mentally that I started blaming myself for all of this. I questioned myself at many times why I still loved her but i found no answer."

"Yibo you know when you love someone truly you never know the reason why"

"I know maybe that's the answer to my question. Then i let my ego win over me and started hooking up with girls. I thought that made me superior. Zhan i knew it was wrong of me. But I thought didn't liying also wrong me. So why can I not do that. I was never like this. I was one simple man. She led me to be like this.

Yibo had tears in his eyes. I turned towards him.

"Yibo gege listen to me. Liying did very wrong. Extremely wrong I can understand the mental pain you must've gone through but you shouldn't wrong people right. People have feelings. Just like you had. What if someone falls in love with you?" I asked him while smiling. Deep down I knew I was talking about myself.

"...."

He looked at me speechless. "it's fine gege humans make mistakes. But they should also try to fix them."

"Zhan i always show everyone my pride. I show them how strong minded I am. How strong I am in real life. But look at me. I'm so fucking weak from inside. Not even lovable."

"Shut up!"

"....."

"Wang yibo you're not weak. You always teach me about the best things. You give me strength. You're a very strong person that's why you went through all of that and still standing strong here. Ok. And you're so damn lovable don't even think no one likes you."

Yibo smiled brightly. "sunshine you're so adorable" he smiled and pecked my nose and lips. "looking like an angry bunny huh" he pinched my nose.

"Gege do you still love liying?"

"I will not lie. Yes I do. I still love her. She was my first love. They're always hard to forget. She also still loves me. I know this is weird and all but it is what it is."

I was almost on the verge of tears. To hell with my feelings. This man needs me now. I need to be strong for him.

"Oh ok" I looked down.

"Zhan you know you're special to me. With you I feel so light and different. Today morning also liying slapped me but when I hugged you it felt like it all disappeared and it's just us against the whole world. I don't know what this feelings is which I am having but please don't leave my side."

"Gege don't worry I'm by your side. Always"

"Thanks"

"You know yibo my parents want me to get married as soon as I can. I told them many times I don't want to but they don't understand. They've made me date several girls forcefully. I love my parents indeed but I'm like a tool to them. They think that i will do anything they say and i do it" i chuckled sadly. "I love them a lot and I never went towards them. Mentally I'm just broken as much as you. My past is also dark.

I was 14 when i almost got raped. Th-that man found me outside of my house. He took me and almost raped me. Since then I've never let my wall down to anyone except you. Getting raped is the worst feeling ever. I still get nightmares about it. It's like some monsters are chasing me but I don't know how to send them away. I don't know where's the exit.

I'm so scared gege. But I know life will go on and I have to move on. Whenever I have nightmares I always try to forget them and move on. It's not easy but it's gotten better over the past years."

"Oh my baby. You've suffered so much since a young age. Don't worry now you have gege by your side. No one will harm you. We both are broken mentally so let's stay together and fix ourselves."

"Hmm. Let's stay together and fix ourselves."

I opened up to gege. He was the first person I told all of this to after my parents. This felt like an indirect confession of love. He said he still loves liying. Who am I to interfere? But when he needs me I'll make sure to always be with him.
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Guys double update for the day. I hope you liked this chapter and their past stories. I mean their talks always feel like an indirect confession. Share your views and comment.
-yizhan_BJYX