Inglorious Impostor Presents: The Astonisher's Return

The Object That Lived

And we are back with another tiring chapter. Okay! We left off with Black who was going to test out the drug for himself and experience its hallucinogenic effects, but that required a separate chapter due to the duration of its various effects. "Cock your guns, 'cause we're almost here." on the count of three, a quote from the first chapter of this outrageous, outstanding, and controversial book and on the count of African-Americans who reside in the hick states.

"Alright. Let's do this. Michael Jackson, you have always been an inspiration to me, despite claims in the aforementioned video. But I gotta ask, what color were you as a joyous child, why are you suddenly attracted to them, and is that how you treated your groin? Hilarious, my friend, hilarious but let's jump back to both the story and gunpoint.", randomly said Black.

"Okay [horrified where his conscience was at and what he what it was talking about, profusely sweating and panting], here we go. Hmm... Shaped like a cigar only much thicker due to the ingredients that I am aware of. Oh, here's the instructions. 1. Get a bong, 2. Insert into pipe on the table, 3. Put pipe into bong, 4. Pour warm tap water and pulls into penis, 5. Light and wrap mouth over opening, 6. Hasta La Vista!.", read aloud Kevin Hart. " Go ahead my child, you first. I insist. Don't be frightened by my appearance or voice cracks.", heartily guffawed Hart (funny man, "Seriously Funny", haha!).

Black lit the joint and did as he was told. Immediately, everything around him distorted. He was yelling and falling through the sky, arms and legs spread out all the way, in his underwear and without a parachute with an alien spaceship and anthropomorphic monkeys screeching, chattering, and howling at him, but he couldn't determine if it was a monkey or not due to the rapid changes in scenery and distortion. Now he was panicking, along with an increase in heartbeat, anxiety, and decrease in mobility. Black was in the jungle, he was either a black panther or gorilla, or maybe both. Oil rig felt edgy, bizarre, and and craved for something. He was consuming a monkey, or so it seemed, maybe it was his own hands... Or someone's ass ( dramatic tone, ta-ta-tun. Or Law & Order: du-du.). Now, he was in Africa, being hunted down by poachers and yelling "No!" as if that's going to help him. Eventually, he got hit by a dart and fell to the ground. Now he was locked up in a cage at a circus, and he felt a sort of rush and ripped open the cage and started to attack everyone, carrying what appeared to be crystal meth ("Thank you Romney!", he growled). The highness started to kick in right about now. He repeatedly ran around the circus, in search of the person who captured him, consuming anyone in his way. He felt ferocious and aggressive, maybe he had a combination of OCD and rabies, since his mouth was foaming. Black was hyperactive, and he was an untamed animal, smoking spliff. All of a sudden, he felt empty and didn't know who he was or what on earth he was doing. He was in a psychotic state and started to itch himself. Black was back (haha!) in the sky, in high altitudes of course. He was going to jump off a plane, no parachute, butt naked, and the two monkeys chattering about if they should "shotgun" him off the plane with an actual shotgun to deliver the heavy impact and knock him unconscious off the plane. Unfortunately, after getting shot off the plane, he was chopped into pieces by the sharp blades of the propeller that instantly cut every part of him into invisible bits of nothing. Now he was experiencing, whilst still descending at a fast rate from the sky, paranoia, severe anxiety, confusion, and depression. The sky turned into this colorful environment and he could hear a diversity of sounds coming from different animals and unknown species, including himself, thus causing his head to split in two. He started to caress himself and felt like Drake from the Sprite commercials. A few minutes later, Popeye was beating the crap out of him and Black was whimpering like a dog in the pound. Now Black was in a dark (hilarious) alleyway, getting shot at by continuous bursts of bullets, causing him to do some sort of dance every time a bullet pierced him. After getting shot at multiple times, his skin had a warm feeling to it (as if though the sun was beaming down on him, haha!) and he had a dry mouth and felt another rush. Then, his breathing started to slow down, his bones started to ache, he felt restless, and severely discomforted. Eventually, 'Rig was either knocked into a coma or unconscious. Black woke up with a jump ( still under the effects; he's still in his mind/out of this world). He felt dizzy and nauseated and felt the sudden urge to stick-up a pharmacy for pain killers. Afterwards ( upon exiting CVS), someone approached him and asked him a question. Black's speech was slurred, apathy ( lack of interest) took control of him as well as recklessness, he started to hallucinate once more and he was once again being shot at, next he was being eaten alive and couldn't move, and finally, he felt disoriented and as if though he was suffocating. It wasn't until everything inside of him started to disappear and exit by mouth, thus leaving him breathless, internally diminished, and auto-asphyxiated ( doo-doo).