Inglorious Impostor Presents: The Astonisher's Return

Part 31: Caught

Ladies & gentleman, before I begin today's therapy session, yes, that's what I'm calling it now, I'd just like to say that it truly ( haha, just kidding, not really. It was and still is horrible, no support, just gazing and gaping or as you call it "views") has been somewhat of an honor writing for you. 31 is, I guess, a major milestone for me and a relief, at that and I have finally reached it and sweet freedom from that wretched place of a prison and I hope to continue writing until I get to my 50th chapter or upon attaining that age number ( "Yeah right! I'll be long gone out of this effed up nation or I'll be the freakin' president and I won' t abuse that power, at least I hope. It's up to God, or the mastermind behind all of this.", bellowed Oil Rig. "What's up bastards? Silence, I kill you!", stole all the people who Rob has wronged and screeched a suicide bomber. "Memories, huh? Rob's gonna get it. Pretty lady, that U, not you America. Ew! Why would you even think about that?!", roared Nigger. Finally, one of the deceased criminals' true name has finally been revealed. I feel you America, I feel yah, not in a frisk-like manner of course. You may proceed but beware reader, you're in for a drug dare...) but you have to comment and actually get jiggy and down with my book, if you know what I mean. In other words, please remember to vote and comment. With that being said and on a lighter (hah!) note, keep destroying that like button even though ( your probably not aware of this) it was me who liked most of the chapters, thus showing me that you're both "lighter" and wanting more. Again, much appreciated, thank you all for assisting me in reaching 2k+ views, and most important of all, enjoy the show.

Uhhh huh, she ain't a gold digger, get down girl, jungle boogey, Rick Ross, any other crappy black artist (or rapper, it's not even art. I do understand Wiz Khalifa though because he attempts to enunciate and actually pronounce his words as opposed to most grumbling/mumbling shadies ), R&B shipt, not even music, stanky leg ( the attempt of sliding a turd out of your pants by shaking/writhing/twisting one leg in order to receive that dose of dopamine while in public or nervous), etc. That's right my Oreo/douche. Thinking your all that, rudely interrupting others of their achievement in a Grammy award and claiming that your the "one and only" and omniscient or something like that. Alright, lets head back to my, yes, All Rights Reserved, story, wouldn't you say? Before I get Stewie Griffin to come after you and ask "Where's my money man?". Good times, goood times. Ahhhh.

"Honey bun, allow to me to explain. Jerry get out of here. Just because we're black, a couple, and frequently arguing does not mean we need two security guards and yourself to instigate what is already more than enough trouble for my deluxe package, which coincidentally is at a car wash. Anyway, this is Black, a friend, not even a friend but a brother to me. Back at the mental asylum/prison industrial complex, or the SHU, to be frank, I met this guy right in the corner of the shadows. I was planning to bust out while he was just an accomplice that aided in our escape and what the future had in store for us, who, over time, I had the chance to be properly introduced and acquainted to. With that being said, over the years I've been in the corrupt "business", meaning heists and stick-ups, all with the help of Blackman. He made this possible and he deserves more than what I gave him on the lines of humanitarian (seeking human welfare) terms. I regret that every single day and it's been haunting me all the same. Back at the mansion, when Romney showed us the map to El Dorado and prior to Black coming downstairs and before meeting you, our fair and just president ordered me to kill Black in order to make the split even. I had to contemplate that for a moment and I eventually came to my senses, as I was being threatened. So, since I didn't have a choice whilst under heavy surveillance, I had to shoot Black back the Atlantic. Luckily, I shot him with the weakest bullets made in the U.S so he didn't have to go through anything dramatic, if you will. I knew Black would recover in a local hospital through arranged transportation that I set up, thus beginning a layout. I know how Black thinks. Back in Darking, I set up that audio file, prior to our absence, in order to notify him what I was getting into. I also knew that he would somehow betray me to get even, and I understand that. When we did those heists, I noticed something suspicious about one of the men. The suit he was wearing was blending in with his skin color. After a brief lightbulb moment and an out loud realization, I assembled the pieces together and eventually figured out that it was Black. Since I knew he would compromise one of the two, wait three or two-and-a-half heists we did. I'd just simply wait for him and track him down in disguise to see what he'd do with the prototype. There we were, in Kokomo. Black lit the joint like it was the Fourth of July and I was tailing him inconspicuously. After being knocked unconscious by that drug of his, I thought he was dead. Clueless, I was sobbing at his side and yelling through his ears and shaking him awake, but nothing worked. Once he woke up, he said that he heard me in his conscience, telling him that he was dead. I explained whatever I said before or in a previous chapter. As a result, I was relieved. Black was like a brother to me. I mean if were to lose him, I don't know what I'd do. Attempting to be relevant, my next part of the plan begins: killing that son of a gun, Romney. ", mumbled/explained/foretold Rob, acting as if though he was Dumbledore. Just then, U shot Rob, who, once again, was writhing in extreme pain, as if though he came back from the aftermath of a brutal fatality in Mortal Kombat. "Why?!". "Precisely. Your actions justify your question. Anyway, it's a pleasure to meet you Black. I'll take you to a hospital right after I explain what's going to happen. Rob, if you kill Romney now then Dick Wolf is going to make another Law & Order, contemplating how the title is going to be implemented into our situation (abbreviation= AAU or JD, Af-American unit; justice department. You know, the usual business. Corrupt cops, illegal transactions, etcetera for you er... I'll get back to you!) and law & order would officially be restored. You have to think about the outcome guys. Consequently, I was thinking of one last heist. On a larger note. Higher and larger stakes, we go out with a Big Bang (God creating the universe by getting a lighter, igniting the flame towards his bum and evolution of mankind begins). More money and momentum (possibly leading to presidency), elevated security, the FBI coming after us until we're out of their jurisdiction and nothing to lose. What do you think? You know, I can care less of what you think because I'm taking over this operation, regardless of your complaints because you resemble Kanye West, his actions and personality specifically and you, somehow, are corrupted to a point where you might nuke the states. Therefore, you will do as I ask, you too Black, in order to better settle things and stuff. Afterwards, we'll have to come up with a separate plan for our next destination: the White (haha!) House. Oh, I almost forgot. As a side note, America deserves a better class of criminals, like the three of us. We ought to work towards a better reputation and exercise our right to bear arms, we are democrats wanting to embrace our patriotism, isn't that right Obama? Yeah, screw you Trump. Who's Hilary Clinton? But no worries there, we have all the time in world to devise and plot and do stuff to our junk, but I was just thinking, 2 multinational banks, hire a fourth guy and we evenly split into two. What do you think? Is it worth the extra effort and most important of all, the risk? 'Cause I gotta tell yah, that's how we've been functioning, as a whole, for quite some time now. With Rob's uniqueness and experience and level of vigor ("Giggigity, yaddaa", said Rig) Black's expertise and mastery in weapons and color, and my leadership and strength and contacts, we'll be unstoppable.". Stay tuned folks for more exciting adventures!