Inglorious Impostor Presents: The Astonisher's Return

Liberty City Darking

[I'm sighing with relief after a hard day's work as I exasperate my story] Liberty City, "The City of Wonder" and "Guidance to Desires" are just two of the many phrases to describe the sleep-deprived city. From self-help gurus who try to spread peace and inequality (Cough, cough, the color of paper? White people, who don't hate them?) and fading celebrities such as 'Negger, Stale, and Schpitt strewn about along with sprawling crime out and jollily about and dopeheads are just one of the many things that arrive with this deluxe package that has absolutely no value in probably every currency system. [Laughing] I mean, what more could you ask for? Since you're here, you might as well check back at Rob-bin's mansion, shall we? I mean, it's not like I'm getting paid for this. I could hire a hobo to write this and he/she would most likely finish the whole story within a couple of days. Boom goes the dynamite. But would that be exploitation of cheap labor? Aww shucks, now I'm contributing to the issue. Enough of this arbitrary comic relief, let us ( again, you) proceed to the political quest of glory and fame with Blackman and Rob-bin. Coal away!

Rob poured himself a glass of cool whiskey and Oil rig gulped a bottle of wine. "Here's to our success and may we thrive in corruption and greed." Their glasses clink together and they drink with satisfaction and pleasantness as they gaze/bask in the beautiful sunset and rays. "What a wonderful country to live in. Romney's president ( Congress impeached Obama, what a shame, and vetoes any other law Romney decrees other than the laws listed below), Trump's not racist or disrespectful ( believe it or not), ATM stands for America's Total Money, STDs are legalized as well as coke in select states, there's a wide range of opportunities to choose from in terms of felonies, and public television is canceled," l isted out Oil rig, coughing up smoke while in a jacuzzi vibrating with bubbles and jets shooting warm streams of water to Uranus with Rob. "Wow [enjoying the jets], I never thought about that. You are so intelligent. We benefit both our economy and society; we deserve this, do we not?" Rob said hazily. "Are you doubting what we committed in the past 'cause I swear to SOB that I'll take a crap and it'll float right to you?" Asked 'Rig. "No, no. It's just the guilt that persistently infiltrates my blackened heart," he answered. "I got just the thing [draws a bucket from a drawer beneath his buttocks. They're all nude, there's no shame in that.]. Inhale this here mellowness and don't you say another word.". The effect was instantaneous, everything felt relaxing and soothing. While coughing and blearily examining his surroundings, Rob manages to reflect back to his childhood. "Do you wanna know how I got so burnt? My father was... A drinker, and a proprietor of a tanning salon. And one night, he goes off maniacally and 'looney' than usual. Mama gets the basketball and signed football to defend herself and he doesn't like that one bit. Me watching, he inquires her. 'Why are so dark?!', he says. Then he comes after me with a permanent marker and a bag of charcoal used for grilling and repeats the question. He aims the marker at me and says, 'let's put some charcoal on that face!' And... Let's just say I'm hidden under camouflage, under the radar, and constantly ashy." Rob then saw an unwrapped Hershey's chocolate bar and made a complex yet predictable decision by simply eating it with passion.

What was this chapter for? Continue to read, put the puzzle pieces together, read all 10 parts for your sake! Hint: obviously something unexpected is going to occur, yadda, yadda, yadda, I don't want to bore myself with details but stay tuned, be forewarned, and leave suggestions and likes.