"Holy freaking crap. Where's Black Jesus when you need him? Woo! Uggh, now I have a hangover. We gotta supply this to Wal-Mart immediately, regardless of their policies because some "shady" guy's gonna sell it in the corners anyway. Hey you, randomly greased-up-guy, get to it, stat! By the way, how long was I out?", stole Black. "Uhh... Well.. To be frank, assuming that you went through tighter spaces than the one you most likely came out of whilst under the influence, I'd go ahead and say that you, an illegitimate child and a rushing bride to be, are dead due to the catastrophic stages of your hallucinations and youth. But don't worry, I'll still supply this and your severed remains to Wal-Mart/Craigslist/Ebay/Amazon.", said a beloved character. "That's impossible! Wait a minute... Your voice, it sounds familiar. Who...", robbed Black. "Don't you remember?! It's Rob, old fool! Hey, sit your black self down before I call the feds. I was the southern scientist, and I should've said this before but I apologize for gunning you down like a typical angry black guy being a prime suspect in a drug raid. I know it isn't worth much, since we're both black as the night, but I plan on making it up. I was ordered to, by Romney. How-how-how (repeats 50 times like a tape recorder, eyes wide and blank, sterile) did you-you not get injured?", Robbed asked. "We shadies don't reveal our secrets, unless under serious pressure or being threatened/tortured by rival gangs. But I gotta ask, if I'm dead, then how're you still talking to me and where exactly am I at and may I, yes, we shadows have derived manners from past experience and brutal beatings, pop you in the head to get even?", barked Black. "Of course. Haha! [bang] Oh iz funny 'cause blacks don't usually reveal secrets or themselves. Oh! Okay, back to our typical selves. FIRST OF ALL, YOU STILL UNDER THE INFLUENCE SO ITS ALL IN YOUR IMAGINATION AND SECOND, YOU, LIKE ALL OF US, IS IN HELL BOY! WE AIN'T PLAYING HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK! COME OUT FOOL BEFO' I CALL FOR THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT ( NOT VOLDEMORT)!", charcoaled/rapped Rob. "Wait a minute, I'm still high? I'm confused.", idiotically said the worst character I ever created. "Whoa... Hold on sec. Black Jesus just rang me up and said we're both dead. Since you compromised the laboratory heist, I think, THINK, I got arrested again and got put on a death row penalty and the feds electrocuted me in the chair, you on the other hand, the influence must've been too strong, maybe because of the methamphetamine I added in, which actually was just marijuana and other exotic plants. These are just predictions. So [sucks his teeth]... We're dead and this is all happening in your mind. Poof.", blacklisted Rob.
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Inglorious Impostor Presents: The Astonisher's Return
AdventureThe following content is designed for a tolerant, but not limited to a knowledgeable audience. Reader's discretion is advised: Rob, a reluctant yet hesitant criminal, is the one who you can trust to get an odd job done; he's street smart. Dilige...
