Inglorious Impostor Presents: The Astonisher's Return

BoyZ in Tha Hood

How did people forget about this groundbreaking, a** shaking song? Guess it's true what they say, looks and breasts don't last that long ( hey, it's funny. You know you want to laugh).... Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen to another humorous, edgy, politically incorrect ( at times) and most important of all, discriminatory-against -blacks-and-other-common-ethnicities chapter. If you came for any of those reasons, well, let's just say that you came to the right place.

On that blunt note, today ( 11-23-15, for you dicks that forget sometimes when asked to write the date down on school work. It's okay, I'm a dick too at times. In fact, I measured mines with measuring tape...) marks a certain day. A day in which say... An R-rated comedy wins an Oscar. Similar to such an ambiguous rating ( I.e Showtime channel. Visible "pairs" or soft core pornography which I happen to dislike as my err... Tits err... Tastes differ. And no I don't have boobs alright. Don't make me feel self-conscious. I'm a physically active person you know. Push ups, bench press and the infamous b-ball. Only reason I'm in this bleep hole is because of an addiction. In other words an obligation. Similar to masturbation. Moving on by exiting the parentheses...), I am proud to announce my achievement in a Watty for best use in visuals! Though the exclamation point being unnecessary but its sole purpose intended for the particularly "rowdy, Proactiv, Clean & Clear" crowd, I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude towards my audience. And... Scene.

Intro: Ahh Mexicans/Latinos/"hard-workers." Energetic, free, hard working, and known for Trumping/ immigrating illegally. They know how to party, the women have a**** and ti** along with being the second race to be the most fertile. Work is the name of their game, including an innovative idea known as Chipotle on the go. On the other hand, they have this unknown friendship or bond with blacks. In addition to speaking Spanish around others who do not while thinking it is cool to cuss one out in the enigmatic code and having all these connections while also playing soccer with a tin can and suddenly immigrating to football ( all the while, trying to be cool), they have some similarities to blacks, including the abuse of their freedoms. Nowadays, a system known to Mexicans as "Slapping Hands," which really is a system to get weed around, along with frequently cussing and dropping out of school, not to mention evading the police and consistently crossing the border, these people bring a new kind of low, according to Trump. Furthermore, spiked up hair, being idiotic, acting like pure garbage, wearing hoodies and "expensive clothing," anger, an accent and calling people profanities in Spanish, including "Esé," isn't going to get you anywhere in life so get your act together you dumb, dirty, scumbag, race has fought for all-year long ( harvesting seasons in other words). Go pick some corn you annoying fruits. Whites attracted to your women and, well, the women being so fine and whorey. Whoop, context erection. "I will build... The greatest wall," that certainly calmed it down. I haven't lost my racist edge, have I? 'Course not. Without further ado, the actual story...

Compton II. Morning. Peanut and Farmer...

Azalea awakens with an orgasmic moan and next to... Two gentlemen? Accompanied by cassette tapes of NWA's fall ( which, in the next few decades, white people will start downloading it onto their phone's playlist or crack jack box) along with Future's spluttered nonsense of "Blasé" ( you're not fancy nor my dad). Peanut and Farmer, now adult men by the power vested in Aladdin's genie and their 3 inchers, awakens to Frank Sinatra's 'Luck be a Lady' prior to multiple divorces and on either side of this "jewel" ( jeez, imagine if this were Ariana Grandebell. Men'll ejaculate on her face but not the body. Yeet, huuuuh, in other words as a sigh a second time).

"My abdomen. AHHHH!" Exclaimed Farmer in pain. "I forgot to tell you. I have lesbian AIDS from all the white trash pop stars and ghetto-trash Minaj. That's why my vagina was droopy. Why didn't you wear the... You know. Rubber sheath?" Explained Iggy, who I, admittedly, happen to get a boner from occasionally, along with Minaj and other white pop stars. "Da hell you talkin' bout girl?" Asked Peanut, putting on his clothes and consoling his friend and bitch slapping da hoe... 'Ren in the house, wit my mac clip' whilst sounding like a character from Adult Swim's 'The Boondocks.'

"See, what had happened was........... Direct contact. Your guys' fault for doing anal. And again, the cond-" "Screw the condom! It wouldn't have availed us anyhow! Semen transmission and shit. Should've censored that but hey... It's the 80s and we're in Compton. Eddie Murphy's time. God, didn't we learn anything from the 70s?!" Interrupted Farmer. "Now what do we do?" Asked Negro #1 AKA Peanut. "I mean, we are infected and the sex did feel good..." "Where are you getting at?" "Instead of waiting around for our deaths maybe we should... You know. In order to satisfy our male readers." "You have got to be kidding. Are you using your brain nigga?! We do it again, who knows what could happen." "Don't you dare call me that derogatory term Peanut. Fine, go on ahead without me. I mean, I know I'm contradicting myself but hey, it's worth another shot."

Peanut then got dressed and abruptly exited the house with a slam. "Now, where were we?" "Uh uh uh Farmer, we need to restore our bodily fluids, buy a condom, and 'do' it the old-fashioned way: oral." Farmer, with a disappointed groan and Iggy, with her ample-sized tits ( it's like biting into an apple. Don't worry) ate breakfast ( yeah, who would've thought. A sunny day in Compton. This ain't no Sesame Street but I wish), washed their genitals by bathing for hours and then entering a jacuzzi only to "direct the jet streams elsewhere," and went to a hotel gift shop to get that condom.

"We're in the hotel, we might as well..."

Kofi Kingston Disclaimer Part II: "YO FAKE NIGGAZ. DON'T HAVE TO MAKE ME REPEAT WHAT I SAID BEFORE AS I AM TYPING ON IPHONE. SEX , IT IS NATURAL, IT IS LIFE AND IT FEELS GOOD. SEX ED, COMIN' ATCHA LIKE A FIREBALL. AIGHT FOOLS, TAKE IT EASY.