Inglorious Impostor Presents: The Astonisher's Return

A King Wit Soul Mon

Ahhh, a pre-Valentines Day chapter ( of course, skipping the two presidential birthdays of February due to insufficient knowledge and having no bleeping clue as to what the bleep I'm talking about. Here we go:) of course, in my perspective it's a bit more irreverent. A day of finding love ( and possibly your true meaning and purpose of your life through intercourse, if you ever get that lucky) and showing affection towards one another. But that's all in the past. Nowadays, it's all about looks and getting first dibs and being greedy. Oh what a time we live in. Yeet, it's always been about appearances! In fact, allow me to share a little recent something with you folks known as a "love" story whilst avoiding lengthy paragraphs because apparently that disgusts readers:

Once, upon a time, ( we all say it but don't know what it really means so I took the liberty of breaking it down into commas for you) a young man named *CENSORED*, who just so happens to be me in school, like most of the current age group as suggested by the demographics. Now, judging by my use of vocabulary, you'd probably think "oh, this guy's an adult, we gotta be rebellious or assume he's more knowledgeable so we gotta like, read his book because of its take on racism and humor," but this isn't so. Like most of you, drum roll please, I am an adolescent.
Happy now that I surrendered similar to how Rob had to in the interrogation chapters and Ben Carson in the last debate waiting around backstage while everyone passed him up but Trump staying behind with him as well and allowing Jeb Bush to pass Trump ( never in the polls though. This joke was sponsored by multiple late-night talk shows) like how the Academy awards skipped Michael B. Jordan's "Oscar unworthy" performance but instead nominates Sylvester Stallone, thus adding onto the infinite, anti-colored/diverse nominees?

Anyway, whilst hoping this'll boost my engagement stats because I'm attempting to relate to you, as you all know teenagers get "love struck" or simply a heart attack. In other words, I wouldn't necessarily call it love at first sight but more along the lines of "holy crap, I've known this girl for 2 years and still haven't made a move even though I sit next to her and talk and whatnot but unfortunately that has changed due to me being brave enough to slip a note stating that she's a hoe ( as an ongoing joke) and that she was mistaken when she said I liked someone else but in the note I said it was in fact the woman herself and now she's giving me the silent treatment is basically the gist of the current issue."

And I only see this girl in one class: band. So you know how distant I feel and how the urge is indeed real.

Moreover, whilst strictly abiding to not releasing any more personal info, that girl that I happen to be attracted to is Latino/Mexican ( one's from mejico & da other is of Latin origins. What's da difference? Funny, I don't even bleeping know).

I know, right? Latinas, what's so special about them anyway? Of course, there butt and boobs and maybe even looks. They aren't dumb hoes ( I take that back. Jane the Virgin, ahem) and there loud, strong, independent women. It's in their genes I guess. Thing is, there's something special about this girl. See, she's like what Fetty Wap describes a as trap queen yah know? Or like what Sia means when she "bangs her hand against the wall" yah know? Her looks, of course but I've "messed with other girls" as well but it's hopeless. I'll settle for simple and she's basically more than that. I have no clue if she even likes me or not. I mean, prior to the issue, we talked and I joked and whatnot. Confusing times, eh? Another joke, but this time it was aimed at Canada. Now as for the UK, Brothers Grimsby is coming out and it stars Sacha Baron Cohen. Hilarious man. You don't know him you say? The guy from The Dictator or-or Borat? Ahh screw it, what would you know anyway, Zoowap and Zoovier?

In conclusion, woman are hard to get with ( especially in this time and age), racism inflicts certain reaction and hurts, and never call a women a bleep because you never know when that time of month is for them and what's cut out for you even though... Even though. But did I, in the end/currently achieve my goal which originally was to "get with?" No but I guess it's true what they ( the Internet) says: Latinas need their space. And ba doiiing goes my sausage, when I looked up Latinas that is. Seriously though, is that all they're really good for? There might be a seller understanding to this that I'm not getting here but I guess we'll never know because after all, women are a mystery and like to play with our ( excuse my sexism) man's head. Not to
mention Spanish sounds insulting when spoken too fast. Who else but women is dis mon right or is he right?