Fate Weaver's convergence

C62 Opening breeze, fading flowers 9

"So... no?"

It felt like I'd had an iron weight in my stomach suddenly. With Mother shaking her head and frowning as if she didn't want to, it made the answer sink in.

"But- I have the money... I asked the clerks. They said it was enough to pay your commission for a few days."

I tried to argue, pushing down the welling feelings that were starting to boil to the surface.

"Kiyomi, it's your safety. Not the money. I get that you want to help Beryl, but putting yourself in danger for something that might not work is out of the question."

I looked down as mother responded, taking in her words and trying to rationalize both my argument to go and why she would also refuse.

She's right. If I were a parent- I think I'd say the same, after last week? But- but Beryl! This is our only chance! If we don't do it now, it could be another three or four years before we can do this!

"Mamma, pl-"

"The answer stands, Kiyomi. No, and I'm sorry for that. I know you want to help, I know this probably hurts. But it would hurt you, and everyone else, if this trip went bad."

"Ah."

I could feel my hands balling up for a moment, it felt like I was a small child arguing with my mom on earth. Tears began welling up, I could feel my eyes glazing over as I refused to let them flow outward.

Don't let her make you cry, that would make her feel worse. It's not gonna change her mind. All I'll do is make it worse. I'll just make it-.

"Sorry for arguing mama."

All I could do was to try and move us on from the conversation as fast as I could. But I was too late to avert any tears from falling.

What am I, 12?... ah

"Kiyomi, you wanted to do a good thing. Don't be sorry."

Mother stood, looking worse for wear as she stood from her chair. Placing a hand on my shoulder brought up some kind of innate need to hug her, so I let it run its course.

"It's okay, sweetie. If it were another time, I'd say of course. It's just not now."

We stood there for a few minutes as she let me wind down.

"Shall we eat dinner?"

She asked though it was muffled to me since one ear was buried into her clothes and the other covered by one of her wrists.

"Mhmm."

I nodded, the ruffling of her clothes being my answer.

"I'll have Maria start preparations, the others should be here later to join us."

From there, the evening passed as any other. Granted the conversation was minimal and just involved the same recounting of what I told Mother with the rest of the team. We bathed together, brought some of our clothes to be cleaned, and even visited Auntie Avery, as her and mother shared some drinks. It was just a normal evening until mother managed to fall asleep before me.

"Mama?"

I looked over my shoulder, waiting for some kind of response.

"..."

I could hear her breathing but received no response. Doing my best to sit up without waking her, I looked over at her. She was asleep, possibly knocked out from alcohol. I could still smell a hint of the drinks she'd had with Avery an hour before.