Youforia [N.H]

16

Aycie Locke

June 24th, Los Angeles

Yesterday I had my first kiss, i feel like a Disney princess thinking about it. I also had my first hangover, but I don't like to think about that because it was terrible. Niall had stayed with me the whole day and it was an emotional rollercoaster.

He had managed to break into some of my deepest thoughts and to be fair it didn't take him long to crack me but I was a ticking time bomb anyway. I knew something like that was going to happen sooner rather than later, he let me cry into him for as long as I needed, something I wished I had all those other years I found myself at my wits end.

It was something that felt so personal to me, the way he made sense of my life. How he was able to read my thoughts and finish my sentences, it was scary but I couldn't stop myself from giving into him, it felt like he had control over my mind. He was able to make me crack a smile after I talked about my dad, that should be impossible.

Kissing him was a whole other story. It caught me so off guard when he first did it and I felt my heart stop beating when I realised what was happening, but he made it feel so special, like this was his way of telling me just how much he cared about me. I didn't know how to kiss like he did considering he was in a very popular boy band, but he made it all feel natural.

And it never grew to be any more than a simple kiss, we didn't make out or anything. He let me play with his hair and it was soft against my fingers, I'd never felt as close to someone as I did in that moment, and we told each other we liked each other, and I guess I didn't realise exactly just how much I liked him until yesterday. He was always the one that was super protective and close to me, It made me think about past interactions I had with him that I brushed off as friendliness. Like when he taught me how to dance in a very close manner, and how he wouldn't leave me alone until I ate something after I passed out. Even if it meant me getting angry at him, he just wanted me to be okay. He was also my biggest supporter, he let me know everyday that he loved my song writing, he was always hyping me up when I wrote something new and he was always the one crediting me when they were on stage, he made me feel like I was worth something to him, he made me feel as though I added something special to his world and that was giving me my will to live.

I think I'd also always felt a little more protective over him as well, when I first met he was constantly making me laugh and smile. I felt the need to look after him because he deserved to be healthy, I took joy in feeding him actual meals and letting him moan about the bands antics to me. I guess I just didn't realise how big my feelings were for him until he told me he liked me, I always tried to brush off everything that I felt for him and everything that happened between us as friends who care about eachother a lot.

Yesterday we just stayed in bed the entire day enjoying each others company. He helped me through my first hangover by ordering room service for us and making me drink a metric ton of water. He watched adventure time with me and put me into a position where he had his arm around me, my head resting on his shoulder as his hand played with my hair, I hated getting my hair touched, it's why I hate hair dressers but when he did it, it made me feel safe, I never wanted him to stop.

He was a little annoyed that I was still wearing Harry's clothes but I thought he was cute for that, however he soon made me drag myself out of bed to change. He had me sit on the sink counter in the bathroom and he used a towel and warm water to scrub off as much of the sharpie as he could, we weren't able to get it all off but it had faded a lot now.

Everything he did was just so sweet, he truly showed me that he cared about me, he wasn't getting any gain from doing all of this but he looked happy too just be there. He never forced me into kissing him, he just let things happen, it assured me that he truly liked me for who I was, you don't care for someone like that if you only like the way they look.