Youforia [N.H]

40

Warning: talking about sexual assault. Please take care of yourself and skip this if you find the topic triggering. Because it will go into a little detail.

Aycie Locke

"Ace?" A voice comes from the door way and I look up from my sat position to see Harry stood looking down at me.

I was silent with my knees to my chest. Sitting like this made me feel safe. It's kinda like my turtle shell.

"I don't know what to say, I don't know why he just did that" he shakes his head at me, he looked angry.

I didn't feel angry. I was just hurt. Niall said he wouldn't hurt me, he said he didn't want to, I felt safe with him.

And then he took the r word out on me. I'd been avoiding it since that day, I didn't want to acknowledge what almost happened yet he just screamed at the top of his lungs that I was "three seconds away from getting raped" for everyone to hear.

Why would he say that? Why would he do that?

It's not like I haven't been suffering from what happened. I still get nightmares two months afterwards. I feel his hands on me so vividly, i can hear the tear of my tights like it happened yesterday. I can hear the voice saying those crude horrible things to me and I feel that same amount of panic flooding my body every time I'm taken back to that alley in my sleep.

And he thinks I'm avoiding my problems? I've never had to face something so much. I can't get away from it, away from him.

Am I not acting traumatised enough for him or something? And why has he just brought this back up two months down the line. If he can see that I'm happy right now why would he remind me of something so horrible.

"We were having a good morning why did he snap like that? He's been in a great mood today" I ask not sounding too happy considering what just happened but I wasn't overly upset.

I'm not one for letting people hurt me. I never really get into arguments with people so it's not something I'm used to. I think I'm meant to be angry at him but I just want to go give him a hug until we're both happy again. He looked really upset.

"You didn't do anything. He just cannot control his temper, he's a bit of a dick sometimes but he only does it because he cares. I wouldn't just let that slide though " He frowns and I push up off the ground. My legs were still a little shaky but I'm trying. "Come on, bring it in" he gives me a silly smile and holds out his arms. I return the hug and he pats my back very rough throughout it until I had to pull away when it stung.

"I'm not angry at him I'm just confused. He hasn't said a word about that at all and now suddenly two months later it's the end of the world" I explain my thoughts.

I felt close to Harry as a friend. He was  the only other one apart from Niall who was there to see me that day my dad banged down my door. He's also asked for some pretty personal songs and we've managed to have slightly intense conversations before. Nothing too bad just like midnight conversation type stuff.

"You were talking about his family, I could tell he was getting agitated from in the living room. He never talks about them with anyone, he probably snapped because he was already upset from talking about his sister. The argument you had after just pushed him over the edge. He would have used any topic no matter what it was to get out of talking about himself, just so happened to be that one." He tried to explain what happened, but I could tell he was reluctant to speak when he was biting his tongue every other sentence.

His whole family situation was really starting to bug me. I had no clue what he was being so secretive about and with the way he just snapped it makes me worried. I'd never heard him shout so loud before, not to mention the fact he just goes around breaking people's bones for gods sake.