Youforia [N.H]

51

Violence warning, weird uncle warning as well.

Niall Horan.

One year ago today, 9th August, Ireland.

"You have no qualifications, you have no job, you have no goals and you show no signs of doing anything with your life. There's only so much I can take before I have to kick you out, I cant keep doing this, I'm at my wits end Niall, it's always been the same with you, I'm tired of it." My mum lectures me.

I may have spent another night in a jail cell.

Oh come on it was a tiny fight, the police in this town are very dramatic because they have nothing better to do.

Now that I've been bailed out, I've gone home and had a shower and cleaned up the cuts left on my face and hands.

Lucky for me we have a family barbecue today and my absolute favourite person in the world's coming.

My uncle!

I fucking hate him.

And now I'm getting shouted at for the lack of life in my life.

I'm not even living at this point I'm just waiting to die. I have nothing.

Well actually I have my sister and she's about the only good thing in my life that would be worth staying around for.

She's the only ones that understands me, and she cares about me and I care about her.

I wish that one day I could have more people in my life to care about, I want to make a good difference in this world but I've been stuck with this awful curse which makes everything I touch break.

"I'm sorry, I'll pay you back" I apologise and stuff my hand in my pocket, pulling out some cash I had in my wallet.

"What are you dealing drugs now as well as getting into street fights?" She asks very harshly.

No. I made that cash by mowing lawns and pulling weeds like a thirteen year old kid in the 80's.

I'm not being sarcastic, I actually did.

It's not like any other job would hire me, gardening is all anyone will pay me to do.

"If I tell you no, would you believe me?" I raise my eyebrows and pass her the money.

She exhales frustratedly and takes the money out of my hand.

"I don't want this life for you Niall, i want you to be successful I want you to have your own family and friends, this isn't good for you, you need to get your shit together" she exasperates and I swallow hard and close my eyes.

I really want that too, but no one even gives me the chance to prove myself.

There was that one head teacher I had when I was seven in primary school but after he retired I was left alone again with no one who saw good in me.

He was the only person who truly believed in me, he was the first one to give me a chance and that year of school was the best I've ever had because of how good he was to me.

God, that was so long ago.

I still have the foot ball and golden stars he gave me the first time he saw good in me, I use the football all the time, it's a little worn out but it's still in great condition and I keep the stars in my wallet on a laminated piece of paper.

I still remember what each single one was given to me for and I've written it under each star.

"My life isn't worth worrying over mum, Darla needs you more than me, don't waste your time on me" I shake my head and bite my tongue.