Youforia [N.H]

01

Warning: sexual assault, please I'm begging you to skip this chapter if you're triggered by this because it gets very intense.

Aycie Locke

May 25th, London.

5 more minutes, my love hate relationship with time coming in handy once again. I've gone 7 cruel years in this school and today i had my last five lessons, and now I'm in the last 5 minutes.

We've all finished our exams so we get let out of school two months earlier than the rest of the school, giving us a bigger break until people start going to places like university or start working.

Sat completely alone at the back of the class i stare down at my skirt playing with the ends as i let my internal dialogue carry me through these last moments, god I'm so bored.

I don't know why and i don't know how and i know it's pathetic, trust me i feel it daily, but I've gone this entire five years of secondary school without making a single friend, not one, I'm friendly with almost every single person in this class, i say hi i say bye, i smile, they smile back, i help them with work, they help me. But that's it, nothing more, i honestly think i may actually be a ghost or something. I've been working up a theory but i came to the conclusion that im just so fucking average, I'm also a little bit shy but like not that shy, everyone's a little bit shy so that doesn't solve this problem.

But I've come to terms with this life style, I'm not happy at all but I am able to live with myself without walking into some very busy traffic, took me ages to get here though, i guess a pro about this life, maybe the only one, is that i have no drama at all, no arguments, no problems and no disagreements, it's nice knowing i don't hold any grudges against anyone, and i hope they don't hold grudges against me, I've never really crossed anyone's paths so if they do have a problem with me then that's a them problem, not a me problem.

I've had people be a little mean to me, but I've never reciprocated it, I hope that means I don't have enemies, I've never wronged anyone.

That's only at school though. My 'home' is a whole another story, I don't like to think about it.

And fyi I'm going to be burning this uniform as soon as i get home.

So now with my hands fiddling with the end of my skirt I'm staring at the clock that silently ticks on the wall, the class was loud, the excitement was kicking in. I'd do just about anything to feel that excitement, these kids were about to go on their summer holidays, i could hear them talking about their plans to meet up everyday and spend every waking hour laughing and being a kid, i don't know if it's possible but every time i think about all the innocent excitement and joy of being around friends and living care free, i swear i feel my heart go cold and shrink, just like the grinch, and from the amount of times I've experienced this there can't be a heart left, surely.

"I need you to stay behind when the bell goes" my teacher snaps me out of my trance, you've got to be kidding me. I thought there was 5 more minutes and I'd never have to come back here.

"Ok but will it be quick? I've got to catch a bus home" i hope that didn't sound rude.

But living in the middle of London, i hate walking home, not only does it take me over an hour, but it's always incredibly busy, I'd just rather get the bus, it takes like 15 minutes that way.

"Sorry but you might want to arrange for someone to pick you up, the chances are that you'll be staying a while" she nods with a fake smile and walks towards her desk, announcing to everyone they can pack up and leave now.