Youforia [N.H]

18

Aycie Locke

June 25th, Las Vegas

I've officially lost every ounce of self respect for myself.

Not to be dramatic.

Blame Niall.

Whatever happened on the bus this morning between us had changed everything, he put me in some kind of trance. I don't know how to explain it other than saying that, that wasn't me, and this still isn't me, because I still need him so bad and I'm like the most independent person alive.

The way he talked and looked at me made my whole body melt into some kind of euphoric state, all my senses were heightened. I usually hate the feeling of vulnerability but when he had me under his control I wanted it to stay that way forever, I feel like I've been poisoned with some sick drug that makes me restless, that makes me feel so warm and unstable ; I'm such a mess right now.

I just need to stop thinking about it full stop.

But nothing remotely close to that has ever happened to me.

We had a free day in Las Vegas before there were two concerts in a row the two days after, but after those two they don't have one until the 30th giving us another two days here, meaning we'd be here for 5 days.

I think this might be the reason for the extremely luxurious hotel room I just stepped into. It was like I was dreaming as I took in the view out of the window, the sun was rising over the busy city, the brightly coloured leds matched the colours in the sky, we were very high up, maybe even the top floor which made everybody walking on the streets below look like ants as I was able to observe the chaos from the peace of this room. The window took up the entire front wall and the bed was right infront of it enabling me to lie down as I let myself become mesmerised, the usual marble bathroom remained and I always got excited when I saw the shower, I knew I'd spent a good hour in there just staring at the walls.

The day was only just starting and I hadn't slept yet but there was no way I'd be able to sleep now anyway. Not with the way I was feeling, plus it would mess up my sleep schedule if I slept through the day.

The song writing was going pretty good, I've finished Harry's song which meant I have three complete songs written and I'm already working on another one.

A knock came from my door and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping it was Niall, I was praying it was Niall. I walked over to open the door leaving my bags by the bed.

Liam...and Niall, yay.

"We're going swimming, do you want to come?" Liam asked, they both wore swimming shorts but had t-shirts on as well.

Then I realise I didn't bring a bathing suit, how could I forget to bring that? I fight the urge to actually kick myself infront of them because, yes, I would like to go.

I love swimming.

"I just realised I forgot to bring a bathing suit, I would if I could though" I give an apologetic smile.

"Why don't you just wear the things under your clothes now, it's the exact same thing" Niall shrugged, there's no way he just said that to me.

"You're insane, I have dignity" I shake my head in absolute refusal.

"Why don't you go buy one then, there's like 50 shops within a mile of us" Liam suggests, this time an actual good idea.

"Yeah actually that's a good idea I'll do that" I nod.

"Would you like company?" Niall asked.

"Sure, only if you want to come, it will be quick" I nod and he steps into my room.