Perfumed Secrets | Kurt Cobain

Remember mother? We were close

"I'm not sure about this," Faye flicked the cigarette through the car window, the cold air brushing against her skin. She looked at the fancy hotel where she was supposed to meet her mother, feeling almost like she couldn't breathe.

Kurt, sensing her anxiety, reached over and touched her arm. "Hey, it's going to be okay. Just go in, hear her out. You can always leave if it gets too much."

She shook her head, her hands trembling. "I can't, Kurt. What if she just ends up hurting me again? I don't think I can handle that."

"Look, I know it's tough. But you have to at least try. For your own sake."

She remained silent, staring at the hotel entrance. Kurt hesitated for a moment before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out the pill bottle. "Here, take one of these. It'll calm you."

Faye looked at it, then back at him.

"It's just to help you to get through this," he said, pressing it into her hand. "I'll be right here waiting for you."

She nodded slowly, taking some pills and swallowing it. She took her time, smoking another cigarette.

"You're going to be fine," he assured her once again.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the car and headed towards the front door. Stepping inside, she paused for a second, frozen by the gravity of the moment. Shaking it off, she made her way to the reception desk.

"Excuse me, my name is Faye Carter, I'm looking for Marie Car—" She stopped to correct herself. "Casablancas. Marie Casablancas." She swallowed hard. "I believe she's in room 805."

The receptionist nodded and dialed the number. After a brief conversation, he looked back at Faye with a polite smile. "She'll be down in a minute. She said you can wait for her in the café."

Finding a small table in the corner, she sat down, her mind racing. The pills were starting to take effect, dulling the sharp edges of her anxiety, but not completely erasing it. As she waited, Faye's thoughts drifted to her childhood. The countless nights she had waited for her mother to come home, the broken promises, and the disappearance that had left a gaping hole in her life. The years of silence had been filled with anger and confusion, emotions she now struggled to reconcile with the reality of meeting her mother again, this time willingly.

"Faye?" 

Her mother looked almost the same as she recalled from their last encounter, though slightly older and with an even more polished appearance.

She stood up, her legs slightly unsteady. Marie reached out, pulling her into a hug. "You look so beautiful, so grown up."

Faye stiffened at first, then awkwardly patted her mother's back before stepping away. "Thanks," she said, trying to force a smile. "You look... good, too."

"Let's sit," she motioned to the table. Then, signaled a waiter to come over. She ordered an espresso while Faye opted for water, her nerves making her stomach churn.

"I can't believe how much time has passed," Marie said, trying to make conversation.

"Yeah," she replied, her eyes fixed on the table. "It's been a long time."

"I think it was Christmas '86 I last saw you..." her mother wondered for a while, obviously nervous.  

Her mother, noticing she couldn't beat around the bush any longer, took a deep breath and steadied her gaze. "Faye, I know I have a lot to explain, and I don't expect you to forgive me. I wanted to see you, to try and make things right. And now that you're older, I think we can finally have a proper conversation, mother to daughter."