Perfumed Secrets | Kurt Cobain

Don't see me for what I'm what not

Faye chose to extend her stay until Krist and Shelli returned. Despite Kurt's improved state, she didn't want to leave him alone.

"I hope things don't change between us," Kurt declared, lighting up a cigarette as they stood by each other on the couch.

She fell silent for a moment, uncertain if that statement would hold true. Could things change between them? She hoped not but didn't want to speculate just yet.

"I just want it to keep going as they were. I'm having such a good time by your side," he continued, unable to tolerate the umcofortable silence. He yearned for a positive reaction from her.

"I want that too, Kurt," she murmured softly. That's all Faye could articulate at the moment. She knew she wanted to stay by his side, enjoy his company, and ultimately, she wanted him.

"I don't want you to think that I'm some sort of screw-up or that I just want to fool around. That's not me," he took another drag and furrowed his eyebrows.

"I don't think that, not even a bit." She leaned on his shoulder, feeling a bit exhausted and tender. "I just want you to be real with me."

"I will," he reassured, relieved by her gesture of getting closer to him, at least physically, sensing that she was willing to make things right. "You're going to see me for who I am, I guarantee you."

They spent their time in the apartment, sharing the couch and enjoying each other's presence. Engrossed in the TV, Kurt gently ran his fingers through Faye's hair, causing her to doze off, seeking respite from the tension she had experienced. She awoke to the sound of the door unlocking – Krist and Shelli had returned.

"You guys still here? Can't you take the girl somewhere? Damn, Cobain," Krist teased. 

Kurt, still fixated on the TV, responded, "We were just resting. Yesterday was quite exhausting." As Shelli and Krist announced their intention to go to sleep, Faye seized the opportunity to call Amy and ask if she could pick her up. Although it was late, Amy had been on standby all night, concerned for Faye's well-being.

"Amy's coming any time now," Faye whispered, her voice barely audible.

Kurt, with disappointment in his tone, replied, "You know, I wish you could stay."

"Yeah, me too," she responded sincerely. "But you know, last night I really had Amy worried, and after all, I came to stay at her place, so I think we should be equal if I spend the night there."

Kurt agreed silently, understanding that it was best for them to take a breath after the events of the night. She was still visibly in shock, and some time to rest and regroup would do them both good. As they waited for Amy, Kurt held Faye extra tightly, cherishing the warmth of the moment. When the car's honk signaled Amy's arrival, Faye hurriedly prepared to leave. Kurt gently held her hand and said, "Thanks for everything, Faye. I know I can make it better."

She genuinely smiled and sighed, "You're gonna be just fine. Remember, I'm here for you." Kurt leaned down, placing a long, affectionate kiss on her forehead, caressed her face one last time, and reluctantly let her go.

He watched her leave through the window, contemplating the mess he had done. Despite the weight of regret, he tried to convince himself that he could do better and was determined to put in the effort.

In the car, Faye entered in silence, and they remained that way throughout the entire drive. Before stepping out of the car, Faye suddenly said, "Wait," Amy, holding the keys, looked at her friend, who continued, "Amy, I owe you a big time apology. I'm so sorry for being a huge burden this weekend. This was supposed to be fun for both of us, but things got out of control."