Perfumed Secrets | Kurt Cobain

I'd follow you down, anywhere, anywhere

Fidgeting her fingers, staring at the ceiling, holding her breath, not able to move, not able to talk, not able to think. She was stuck. A few minutes had passed, but it felt like an eternity. The distant sound of the rain seemed louder than it was, each drop echoing in her mind as if to keep her tethered to reality.

Finally, she moved to her side, her head now resting on her hand. She turned to face Kurt, who was lying next to her, his chest rising and falling steadily. His arm was draped over his face, shielding his eyes from the hotel light. For a moment, Faye just watched him.

"Kurt?" she whispered.

He moved his arm, turning his head to look at her. "Yeah?" His voice was soft, matching the calmness of the room.

"So, May's coming up soon," she said, her voice casual but with an edge of curiosity. "You excited about California?"

"Yeah... I mean, it's a big deal, right? Recording the album there. Everything's been building up to this." His tone was a mix of excitement and something darker, like the pressure was gnawing at him.

"You nervous?" Her eyes scanned his face, trying to gauge how he was really feeling.

Kurt hesitated before answering. "A little. It's like... everyone's expecting something big. And I just want it to feel right. But who knows if it will? We're not even sure how everything's gonna come together yet."

Faye nodded, understanding the weight of what he was saying. "I get it, but look at tonight, and that song—people went insane for it. They're gonna eat this album up."

He gave a small smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, but it's more than this. It's the whole... process. The label, the expectations. It's a lot."

"Well, you're not doing it alone," she reminded him, resting her hand on his arm. "You've got Krist and Dave." She tried to lighten the mood a bit with a half-smile, though she wasn't entirely sure if it worked. "Have you thought about what's gonna happen after the album? Like... where do you wanna go with all of this?"

He sighed. "Honestly? No. I'm just trying to get through this part first. I've never been good at thinking too far ahead. Everything feels so... temporary."

His hand found hers, holding it loosely as he stared at the ceiling again, lost in thought.

Faye stayed quiet, not wanting to push anymore. She could sense the weight he was carrying, and there wasn't much she could say that would change it. The pressure, the uncertainty—it was all part of this life he was living, and she was right there as a witness to it.

"Hey," Faye's voice softened as her grip tightened around his hand. "Don't forget that you've got me through this."

Kurt turned his head toward her, giving her a half-smile. "Yeah, that surely makes it easier."

She could tell he was trying to sound convincing, but something about his tone left her uneasy. "I mean it, Kurt. You don't have to carry everything on your own." Her thumb grazed the back of his hand, as if trying to convey her words through touch.

"I know," he replied, his voice low. "It's just... Sometimes it feels like even when I've got people around me, it's still just me in my head."

Faye had her own struggles, but Kurt's world was different. Bigger. Darker. And though she was there with him, she knew there were parts of his mind she could never fully reach.

"I don't know what it's like to be where you are, but I'm here... right here."

Kurt's eyes met hers, and for a brief second, his guarded expression cracked. He squeezed her hand a little tighter.