Perfumed Secrets | Kurt Cobain

We'll do whatever you want, travel wherever how far

Sat in the library with her textbook open, Faye flipped through the pages as the words seemed to scramble together, her eyes scanning but not truly absorbing the content. The more she tried to focus, the more the unsettling feeling of disconnection grew, sharper with each paragraph. The subject matter, once captivating, now felt distant and irrelevant. She realized with a sinking sensation that she was not only far behind, but also completely out of sync with her coursework.

Her mind drifted, wandering through memories of the choices she had made that lead to that exact moment. The library, with its stillness and the rustling of pages, seemed to amplify her sense of displacement. She thought about her life in Seattle: college, the apartment with Amy, her job, her relationship with Kurt. All these elements fit together perfectly on paper, but the sense of purpose she once felt seemed to be slipping away.

The pressure of the decision she had been postponing was growing unbearable. It wasn't just that she was struggling academically; it was that the academic path itself no longer felt right. Her identity, which had been so tightly intertwined with her studies, was now unraveling.

As she gathered her things to leave for work, she found herself lost in thought once again, re-evaluating every choice that had led her to this point. She loved Seattle, loved her life there, but something fundamental was shifting, and she wasn't sure how to navigate it.

By the time she arrived at Starbucks, the hiss and gurgle of the coffee machines provided a welcome distraction. The routine of making drinks, serving customers, and chatting with coworkers created a comforting rhythm that temporarily drowned out her inner confusion. But even amidst the bustle, her thoughts kept circling back to her academic situation and her future.

Later, back at the apartment, she attempted to study again, but her focus wavered. Instead, she reached for a book she had bought at a flea market—a book on photography. She flipped through it, mesmerized by the images. When she came across a series of beach photographs, with its sunlit sands and clear blue skies, she immediately remembered her mother's offer.

The invitation had been a distant thought, something she'd pushed to the back of her mind. But now, looking at those photographs, the idea began to take on new significance. The lure of a break, a chance to escape rainy Seattle, seemed more appealing than ever.

"Oh, fuck it," she muttered aloud. With a determined huff, she reached for the phone. She hesitated for a moment, glancing at the piece of paper with her mother's number scribbled on it. But before she could dial, she decided to give Kurt a call instead. The idea of his voice was a comforting anchor.

She prayed he would answer. After a few rings, his voice came through the receiver, calming her nerves. 

"Honey, it's me."

"Hey, baby, how are you?" Kurt's voice, warm and familiar, instantly soothed her.

"I'm okay, listen," she began eagerly, her words tumbling out in a rush. "Remember what my mother said? About going to California? Well, I've been thinking..."

"And?"

"I've been thinking about accepting her offer. It would just be for the weekend, after all. I think it would do me good, you know? I could use some time away from Seattle. Plus, you'd be near anyway."

Kurt's response was immediate and supportive. "You should go, then. It sounds like you could use a break. It'll be good for you. And it's true; I'll be there, so we can still be together."

Faye's heart lifted at his encouragement. "I think it would help me clear my head."

"You should definitely take your mom's offer and fly out. We'll meet there."