𝐖𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐓.𝟐

What were you thinking? (Alexia Putellas)

Warning: Eating Disorders, Vomiting. 

If this topic triggers you in anyway please skip it.

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"Are you sure you want to go to a buffet?..." you asked alexia, you had both gotten ready. Alexia had surprised you with a dinner date, you were going to a buffet. You were beyond excited to go on a date with her, until you found out it was a buffet. "What's wrong with a buffet? I thought you liked them...that's where we went on our first date" alexia reminded you. 

"I do like them.." you lied. "But...i was just asking, i'm excited.." you smiled, lying straight through your teeth. 

"Okay then....we're gonna have a good time." alexia smiled kissing your forehead before walking out of the house. 

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You both arrived at the buffet, alexia had grabbed her own plate. She started walking around. looking for what to eat, you grabbed your own plate and walked around. You eyed everything, everything looked good but you knew you couldn't. 

You settled with a slice of pizza and some sushi on the side, you walked back to the table. Alexia wasn't there yet, she must've still been getting food. You waited for her to get back, you looked around at everyone's plates. You were hoping you'd leave soon and go to a park or something. 

"You got your plate?" alexia walked back to her seat and looked down to your plate. "That's all you're getting?" alexia asked. 

"Yeah...i'm not starving.." you said. "Usually you pack your plate, i mean look at mine....it's packed...but if that's what you want.." alexia shrugged and looked down at her food. You looked down and hesitantly picked the pizza slice up with your hand, taking a small bite. Alexia went all in, her plate looked so good to you. 

"Hey, can i get your drinks ladies? What will you be drinking today?" the waitress walked up to your table and asked. "I'll have a lemonade please.."alexia looked at you. "I'll just have water please." you said. Alexia stared at you. 

After a few minutes, you barely finished your first plate when alexia came back with her second plate. It. was less packed than last time, she only got small things. "Are you getting a second plate?" alexia looked at you as she sat down. "Uhm...i don't-" you said. "They just put out the chicken wings...i know you love those." alexia pointed at the fresh chicken wings. You swallowed the saliva in your mouth as you looked away from the wings and turned to alexia. 

"I actually need to go to the bathroom." you said. "Do you need me to-" alexia said. "No, i'm fine." you said standing up and walking towards the bathroom. 

You entered the bathrooms, they were empty. It was the perfect time. You entered a stall, closed it behind you. You got on your knees and looked down at the toilet, you made sure not to touch the seat or anything else. You held up your hair and brought your hand up to your mouth. You sighed before taking your finger and shoving it down your throat. You gagged and took it out as soon as you felt like something was going to come out.

Nothing did come out though. 

You shoved your finger into your mouth again and felt yourself gagging. You took a deep breath in and sighed. it was never this hard, usually it was pretty easy. Your eyes opened widely as soon as you heard the door open. The door to the bathrooms. You heard footsteps walk over to your stall quickly, you heard someone pounding on your door.  

"Occupied." you said standing up quickly. 

"Y/n. Get out." you heard that familiar voice, it was alexia. You confusingly opened the stall door and stared up at her.  "I told you i need to use the bathroom..." you said walking out. 

"I'm not stupid y/n. Don't try to act like i didn't just see you on your knees in front of the stall, now let's go get your things and go home." alexia said taking you by your wrist and walking out. 

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After you left, alexia drove you back home. Nothing was said, you didn't know if you  should be annoyed or worried, alexia didn't know anything. At least that's what you thought. 

Alexia and you both walked through the front door of her house, you. quickly made your way to the bedroom. You tried closing the door but alexia pushed it open, you turned to look at her, it caught you by surprise. "Don't shut my door." alexia said.  

"What do you want ale..." you asked walking over to the bed and sitting down. You began to take your shoes off. "What do i want? I want a goddamn explanation. What were you thinking?" alexia asked.

You stayed silent. 

"Do you know how stupid that is? Do you know how unhealthy that is?" alexia asked you. "You know- people die from this. Why are you doing this?" alexia folded her arms in front of her chest and stood in front of you.

You looked up at her and tried so hard not to break down in tears, alexia got down on her knees and stayed in front of you. "Y/n...you can talk to me...why are you hurting yourself like this?" alexia asked you again. "I'm not hurting myself, i'm not in any pain.." you shook your head. "But you are...your body needs food- it needs nutrients and you're depriving it of that.." alexia said. "Now tell me...why are you doing this?" alexia asked again.

"I don't like how i look..." you blurted out looking at alexia sitting down in front of you. Alexia looked genuinely hurt. "I noticed i gained some weight...i swear i was only going to do it once but then i kept going...i couldn't stop.." you said, tears formed in your eyes. 

"You...are perfect for me. I don't care what anyone else says...i love your body, and i'm not just saying that bebe." alexia said, she got up and sat next to you on the bed, holding your hand in her lap. "I'm sorry..." you apologized. "Don't...i just- i hate how you didn't tell me sooner, i could've helped you." alexia said wiping a tear from your cheek. 

"How...how did you know.." you asked her.

"I know you y/n, i already knew you were lying when you said you were excited about going to the buffet. And when you barely got any food on your plate, and you took long in the bathroom." alexia said. 

"Mmm..." you said. "I didn't mean for it to go this far..." you shook your head. "It's okay, it's not okay how you dealt with it but we can get through this. I promise you, you're not going to go through this alone." alexia rubbed your back. "Thank you." you smiled at her as you wiped your eyes. 

"I really mean what i said, you're perfect the way you are...to me looks don't matter. I've never been in love with anyone like how i am with you." alexia reassured you. 

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Requested by: mazzanatorr

A/N: Thoughts?