𝐖𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐓.𝟐

Comfort (Katie Mccabe)

Warning: SH, suicidal thoughts 

Please don't read if it triggers you in any way.

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Ever since you moved clubs, it became living hell for you. Having to start all over at a new club, make new friends, trying to fit in, it was all a bit too much for you. The fact that some of the fans reacted negatively didn't help either. Being called a 'traitor' really felt like someone stabbing you in the chest.

Leaving your previous club was never something you thought you'd do. But it was a good offer and Arsenal was one of the best in england. You were young and experiencing all of these weird feelings. It led to you having certain thoughts. Thoughts you never wanted to have. You knew it was wrong, if anyone heard your thoughts they'd think you were mad. 

Being new at arsenal didn't mean it was always bad, the girls made sure you felt welcomed. If anything they were one of the few things that made you want to stay. You had instantly connected with Katie out of everyone else. She made you feel safe and welcomed to the club. Instead of bombarding you with all these new people she was friends with, she always made sure to also have one on one time. 

You felt comfort when you were with katie.

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It was this one particular night where you were at your lowest. You had some previous history of self-harm, but you seriously thought you were never gonna go back to that. This felt worse though, you didn't just want to hurt yourself. It all felt overwhelming, not being with your family and friends. You had no one to talk to. 

You had spent all day in bed, your eyes were all puffed from the crying and your nose was so red. You hadn't planned on doing anything but that for the rest of the day. Until you got a text from katie. 

~

Text Messages

Katie: Hey kid, just to let you know i'm bringing your favorite pizza and some snacks for our movie night tonight. See you in 30.

~

"Shit.." you said.

You had completely forgotten you'd promised katie a movie night tonight. The days must've gone by fast since you've pretty much been in bed all day. You had 30 minutes to take a shower and look as if you weren't crying for the past few days.

After 20 minutes, you finished showering and getting into clean clothes. There was 10 mins till katie came, you headed into the bathroom and looked at your eyes. They were still puffy for some reason, usually after a shower it went away but it didn't. You figured you'd have to just come up with an excuse, you knew she would ask.

For the rest of the time you sat on the couch waiting for katie to knock. It didn't take long for her to arrive at your door, you heard shuffling at the door and a knock a few seconds later. You stood up and walked over to the front door. 

You opened it and saw katie standing there, with a pizza box in her hand and a bag in the other. You smiled and let her step in.

"You alright?" katie asked.

"Yeah?" you said shrugging at her question after closing the door. "Your eyes look a bit.." katie turned to you and looked at your eyes. You felt embarrassed and looked at the ground. "It's nothing. Let's watch the movie." you said walking over to the living room when you felt a hand grab at your arm and turn you around. 

"What?" you said taking your arm back. "What's up with you?" katie asked you. "Nothing, just leave it." you lied. 

"It's not nothing.." katie said placing the pizza box and snacks on the kitchen table. "It's nothing." you said rolling your eyes. "Why do you look like you've been crying, and don't try and deny it we both know you're a terrible liar..." katie said.

"I.." you stuttered looking away from katie's eyes. Your brain couldn't handle it anymore, it all felt like it was gonna burst at any moment and do something you're gonna regret. "Katie.." your voice cracked while saying her name. 

Katie's eyebrows softened. 

"Take your time.." katie whispered. 

You took a deep breath in trying not to cry, you felt as if your throat was filled with needles. "I don't want to be here anymore.." you said looking back at katie who looked confused. "You don't want to be at arsenal anymore?" katie asked you. "No- i don't want to be here anymore...alive? It's all too much for me..and i feel so alone-" you were saying.

"Wait- i'm sorry...i- where did all of this come from?" katie asked.

"I don't know.." you shrugged. 

"Y/n..i am so sorry, i don't know what to say.." katie looked at you. "It's fine- i'm sorry i brought it up, i know you came here for a movie night.." you said. "No, don't be sorry....if anything, thank you for telling me...we're gonna get through this okay, i'm gonna help you.." katie pulled you into a hug. It all felt so needed. Having her say that to you gave you hope. You didn't want to go back to your ways or do something worse, maybe it was the right thing to do, tell someone.

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Requested by: mazzanatorr

Thoughts? Feedback is appreciated :)