The sound of the blaring music echoed inside the house. Nandito ako ngayon sa bahay ng isa sa mga senior student namin and we're having a party.
We'll be graduating and what's more fun to end the senior year than to have a party. I do like parties. I like to have fun. To feel the moment.
May mga tao sa pool. Yung iba nakatambay sa may gilid, some are taking a swim, and some—well, they're making out in the pool. Some are just talking to each other and some, they're playing billiards.
Sa loob ng bahay, nandito naman yung mga estudyante na sumasayaw, vibing with the music playing. On the couch, still, horny people—making out. At the corner, still people kissing. The kids here are all liberated. We do whatever we want to do.
That's life. You have to let loose, be free. Life is hard, don't make it harder because of some fear and anxiety that's brewing inside your head.
My saying in life: If you have a problem and you know how to fix it—why worry? And if you don't know how to fix it—why worry?
I saw my friends sa kitchen so I decided na lapitan sila. They all look happy as soon as they see me. They offered me a drink right away and we shared hugs.
"C'mon, we're playing 7 minutes in heaven." Colet said then dragged me to a room where a bunch of students gathers around.
I know everyone in this room. Halos lahat sa kanila friends ko. Jao, Vince, Denise, Maloi, Sheena, Stacey, Jhoana, Akira, Taneo, Colet, Jeremy, and Aiah—my ex.
I creased my forehead upon seeing Aiah here. Parties is not her cup of tea. She always wants to stay in bed or studying. She hates loud noises and hate too much people. She gets anxious and overwhelmed by people.
She looked at me and it still the same feeling. I still got mesmerized by her gaze. How angelic her features that I never get tired of staring. How my heart beats the same the first time I fall in love with her. Nothing's change. I still love her.
"Sali ka ba Mikhs?" Tanong ni Jao that made me pull out of my trance. I gave Aiah a meaningful look with questioning eyes.
Does she know how this game goes?
"Yes." I said. Umupo ako sa tabi ni Colet. Kaharap ko si Aiah and Colet spin the bottle. The game rule is, kung kanino tumapat yung bote, kung sino yung naturo both end; papasok sila sa isang private place—like yung cr ng room na to, and they will stay there for 7 minutes.
Most players will make out there or do some teenager shits. Sometimes they can all just stay there and talk for seven minutes. After seven minutes, the bottle will spin again and the same thing happens to the next players.
"Ohhh.. Jhoana and Taneo." Panunukso nila Jao. I looked at Jhoana and Taneo. Wala naman silang magagawa. They chose to be part of this game, they should follow the rules.
Taneo and Jho goes inside the bathroom. Napatingin kami lahat kay Stacey kasi bigla siyang tumayo and umalis. I know something is going on between Jho and Stacey but I don't want to pry. I'll wait for Stacey to tell me.
We waited for seven minutes. Pagkalabas nila, hinahanap agad ng mata ni Jhoana si Stacey. "Shit. Hanapin ko lang si Stacks." Sabi ni Jho then tumakbo palabas ng room.
Umupo si Taneo and biglang tinungga yung isang bote ng beer. "Walang nangyari? Hina mo bro." Pang-aasar ni Akira.
"Fuck you!" Madiin sagot ni Taneo. The bottle spin again. I'm watching Aiah the whole time. She keeps on drinking which is very unusual of her. Hindi siya palainom.
The bottle stopped and it point to Jeremy and Aiah. I know this will be in Jeremy's favour dahil matagal na siyang may gusto kay Aiah. Ngumiti ng nakakaloko si Jeremy and I looked at Aiah na mukhang takot at hesitant.
"Tayo na girl. Just go with the flow." Denise commented. Tumayo naman si Aiah habang hinihintay siya ni Jeremy.
"You good?" Bulong sakin ni Colet. "Sirang sira na yung plastic cup mo."
Tinignan ko yung cup then loosen my grip. Aiah and Jeremy goes inside the bathroom. Kanina pa ako kinakabahan at nag-aalala kay Aiah. She's not used to this.
Without second thought, tumayo ako sabay pwersahang binuksan yung nakalock na pinto ng banyo. I saw Jeremy trying to touch Aiah but Aiah is not allowing him.
Hindi ako nakapagtimpi kaya bigla kong pinaharap sakin si Jeremy. "What the fuck man, ano ginagawa mo dito?!" Galit niyang tanong pero sinagot ko siya ng suntok.
He fell on the floor so I grabbed the opportunity para kunin si Aiah. Mahigpit kong hinawakan yung wrist ni Aiah and dinala siya sa may labas.
"What the hell is going on with you Aiah?!" Malakas kong sabi with frustration. Nandito kami ngayon sa lugar na walang masyadong tao.
"The fuck Aiah. Ano bang pumasok sa isip mo at sumali ka sa larong yun? Why are you even in this party?!"
"Ano bang paki mo? It's my life and it's my choice to do whatever I want!" Galit niya ring sabi.
"So it's fine for Jeremy to take advantage of you?! Are you out of your mind?! When did you become so stupid?!" Hindi ko na mapigilan magalit talaga. I don't usually get mad of anything but because of my care for her, hindi ko maiwasan.
"Stop acting like you still care about me Mikha." Para naman akong sinuntok sa sinabi nya. I felt a pang in my chest and my system went numb for a moment.
"You never cared about me Mikha. Everything that you did for me before, I know it was all a lie. Hinayaan mo akong mahulog sayo then you dump me like I'm some trash! You don't get to tell me about my well being because in the first place, you're just faking your care." A tear fell from her eyes. She said those words in much bitterness and pain.
"You think I'm faking it?," I blanky stated but my heart is pounding and I can feel the tears building up.
"I admit Aiah, it's not my intention to court you. Wala sa plano ko na kilalanin ka or maging in a relationship with you. I needed someone na tutulong sakin para pumasa sa acads ko. You're just a tutor to me. You're nothing but a mere classmate to me..." I stopped for a moment trying to calm myself because I'm about to break down.
"But you're wrong. I cared for you. I fucking worried about you. Oo hindi kita minahal nung una pero gago si tadhana. I love you Aiah, I still do. I meant every words I said to you before. All the love and effort and appreciation I did for you are all genuine."
"I don't believe you." Aiah retort.
"Yes. You don't.. " I paused for a moment and stared at her. "You chose to believe other people than me. You chose to believe na pinaglalaruan lang kita when in fact, I love spending time with you. You chose to believe na ginamit lang kita for my own sake but in fact, I already fallen in love with you. You fucking chose to believe those gossip and rumor that I'm cheating on you instead of you asking me if it's true or not!" I burst out. The tears I'm holding fell from my eyes.
"You're not being fair to me Aiah. Aaminin ko, gago ako. I'm an asshole, I'm a troublemaker but I'm not a cheater nor a user. Of all people you should know that. It pains me because of how little your trust on me."
I wiped my tears. Huminga ako ng malalim at kinalma ko ang sarili ko. Inalis ko muna yung tingin ko kay Aiah kasi ayaw kong nakikita siyang umiyak.
After a few moments, tumingin ulit ako sa kanya. "If this what you want Aiah, if entering my world full of crap and full of bad habits will make you happy, so be it. If this is your way of moving on or getting revenge on me, do it. Just so you know, I love you. I never stop and never will."
Humakbang ako palapit sa kanya and hinawakan yung mga kamay niya. Tumingin ako deretso sa mga mata niya, "don't let your hatred and pain change you for who you truly are. Don't waste your life because I hurt you. Believe me this time, I never meant to hurt you. I don't want to see you hurting so please, I'm begging you, don't put yourself to any harm."
After that, I left her. I left her standing there while I walk away with a heavy heart. I never loved someone as much as I love Aiah. She made me realize that I have a better version of myself. I love her so much that if letting her go will make her happy, even if it pains me, I'll do it.
