Cupid (DNF + Karlnap)

Chapter 60: Phone Call

Vodkablade 🐷🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻
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Techno POV.

“You gave good suggestions.” There was a brief pause between each word that the blond said, ones that took way too long. “They told me about how your unconventional efforts helped them to get their newest clients together.”

“Perhaps I did.” My voice was gruff yet unwavering. As I adjusted myself on the couch I gripped more tightly at the glass bottle.  “Why does that matter to you Phil?”
“Because as your father it is important that I know about these things. I am meant to make sure you are okay and be a guide for you.”

I scoffed, it was absolutely funny to think about ᛒᚼᛁᛚᛋᛅ. My father was an annoying asshole, thinking that I needed him, that I needed the guidance of the head cupid. “Pass.” My voice was firm. “I don’t want any guidance, I got this job without your damn insight, don’t need it now.” I was prepared to hang up, yet the blond man continued to drag out the conversation.

“We haven’t spoken in a millennia.” He reminded me, sadness in his tone. I felt no sadness in response. “Your brother, ᛏᚩᛘᛘᛁ, he misses you. We wish that you were here with us.”
“I know Tommy misses me.” My voice remained low. I was annoyed that the two cupids had forced me into the conversation by passing on my phone number.

“I still do contact Tommy.” I explained. “I still care about him, I do not care about you. I stopped caring about you after what you forced me to do, Philza.”
“ᛈᛚᛠᛋᛖ ᛏᛖᚳᚻᚾᚩ, ᛁ ᚪᛘ ᛋᚩᚱᚱᛁ” He murmured in his native tongue, something which I didn’t bother to even think about, to translate in my mind.

“I do not care.” I let him know. “You know exactly how I feel, you know exactly how I’ve felt, yet you tried to force me to be like you.”
“I tried to help you.” He insisted. “You had potential and I was wanting to guide you into…”

His words caused me to tune out. I hated it when he went on that rant, when he tried to make it seem as though I owed him something. That is why I disliked the older angel, since he had some strange dream that I would end up like him, another head angel, the head of cupids no less. That offer repulsed me.

“You know for a fact that I don’t believe in that soulmate crap.” I huffed, knowing the way that most angels (including Philza), hated swearing. It was something else I enjoyed, and despite the fact I wasn’t the biggest swearer myself, it did entertain me.
“If that were true you wouldn’t have helped Karl and Sapnap’s clients.”

Clients? That was all that he saw them as, not as actual humans. I am shocked that I was often considered a heartless monster when that was how cupids could act. A smile grew on my face at the observation and part of me wanted to point it out, yet I stayed quiet about that. “I helped them get together because I am their friend.”

“You are friends with humans?” Philza asked. “But why?” I set the phone down and he continued his rant, during that time I pried the lid off of the bottle and began downing large gulps of the drink. It was how I had to deal with many of my conversations with my father, and I was forever grateful to whatever human invented vodka.

“They have tiny life spans compared to angels. You will live through the lifetime of hundreds of humans in your own life.”
“Perhaps.” Was all I responded to him with, still in the middle of my drinking.

“They will get suspicious as to why you are still alive and still look twenty when they are in their forties.” The man tried to explain.
“Well they all know that Technoblade never dies.” Why else would I make that my catchphrase? It is based in fact.

“I just think that you should come home.” He sighed. “Why live with mortals when you could live with your own kind, a kind that won’t die just when you get to know them.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes, managing to finish the bottle of mild alcohol. “Is there anything else you want to add?” My voice was a hum.

He didn’t say anything, and I took that as an ‘I don’t have anything to say, and I am sorry that I am a terrible father’. “Goodbye Philza.” I sighed into the phone, hanging up before any other words could be exchanged between us. I finally felt as though I could breathe after he was gone, shocking since archangels didn’t need to breathe much.

It also shocked me that Philza thought that he was so much more old and wise he was, when in reality he and ᚴᚱᛁᛋᛏᛁᚾ had me when they were both quite young, they were only about 1,000 at the time. He was just an annoying hypocrite, and I planned on blocking him so that he would not be able to contact me again.

Yet as I stared at the screen, where the words ‘unknown caller’ had lingered. For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to do it yet. Stupid care that still existed for my father, or perhaps it was connected towards my care for my younger brother instead. Either way, I turned my phone off and sighed, placing the empty bottle down alongside my device.

It was just past noon, and already all of my roommates have returned to their rooms for an indefinite amount of time. This was good, as I planned on confronting Karl and Sapnap for passing on my phone number to a certain someone. Yet knowing the pair of them, from the short amount of time I had known them, I figured they should have some time alone.

So I returned to the kitchen and began looking for some more alcohol to cure my boredom. Dream had a rule about how much vodka he allowed in the house, yet he never did a thorough search. Since the main bottle in the liquor cabinet was gone I would have to replace it as well, otherwise Dream would freak out about something nonsensical like ‘alcohol poisoning’.

I pulled back a board which revealed a hidden compartment. When I pulled it out I revealed ten bottles of vodka lined up neatly, pulling out the one closest to me. The compartment wasn’t anywhere near full, and so I knew I’d have to replace everything soon. The remaining bottles were only enough to get me tipsy, it wasn’t good.

After putting one in the liquor cabinet I grabbed another bottle, popping off the lid and swigging down the burning liquid. Although it wasn’t particularly burning, more-so mild warmth. I was underwhelmed, probably should write a complaint to the company I bought it from, maybe two stars if I am feeling generous after the disappointment taste.

So I returned with a disheartened stumble back to the couch and continued to drink. Later, after another bottle or so, I would go upstairs and confront the brunette and ravenette cupids. “Those assholes…” I grumbled to myself as I took another drink. “They are gonna have to deal with the wrath of the blood god for the stunt they pulled.”

My eyes flared up a bright red yet it quickly went away with another drink.
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1267 words

Translations:
ᛒᚼᛁᛚᛋᛅ is Philza
ᛈᛚᛠᛋᛖ ᛏᛖᚳᚻᚾᚩ is 'Please Techno'
ᛁ ᚪᛘ ᛋᚩᚱᚱᛁ is 'I am sorry'