My Mutation (TMNT FANFIC) [UNDER EDITING]

Chapter 50: Soft Conversations

It took a bit of time for me to calm down, and then it took more time to explain everything to the turtles and Splinter. From the mutation, to my brief time with Kazuno, to the situation with my Father. In that sobering moment, I can't help but feel the familiar clutches of shame as I avoid their eyes. I feel hopeless doing this, running back to them with yet another sob fest, telling them that another terrible thing has happened to me. I'm just so sick of it. 

And getting their help again?

Seeking their comfort again?

I want to throw up.

When I reach the end of my tale, I'm met with silence and all I can do is stare at my hands as I wait for the tension to lift. And then Mikey wraps me up into a hug and I almost waver.

"Kayla that's really awful..." He tells me genuily.

"Yeah." I say softly, hugging him back.

Mikey shifts in my hold, turning to look over to Splinter with wide eyes, "she can stay with us, right Splinter?"

He simply responds with a solemn nod, "absolutely. Kayla you can stay with us for as long as you want."

I want to argue. I want to protest, say no it's alright, it's not necesarry but I'm tired and a little bit of comfort would be nice right now. 

Mikey looks back to me and all of the sudden his eyes face lights up, his blue eyes sparking with an idea, "you can sleep in my room dude! There's heaps of space it could be like a slumber party!"

"Mikey-" Leo starts but I put a small hand up. 

"No it's fine, that would actually be really nice Mikey, thank you." I say softly. 

His face splits into a grin, "aw yeah! I'm going to set up the best pillow fort! Just give me a moment dude!" And with that he dashes off, keen to make accomodations for me. 

Splinter puts a gentle hand on my shoulder, "I know the struggles of grief myself, if you ever wish to talk, my door is always open."

I smile, so glad to have his support. 

"For now I think it's best to get some rest." 

I nod in agreement, my brain already having that familiar fried feeling it gets whenever I pull an all nighter. 

"I shall see you in the morning." And with that Splinter leaves, heading back into the dojo. Donnie, Leo and Raph staying by my side. 

That familiar anxiety trickles in again, trying to pull stressful thoughts from my brain, trying to get me to worry about me being too quiet or brining the mood down or just something. But the anxiety doesn't grab hold, it just sits there, like a discarded piece of rubbish. Evident, noticable but not all consuming as it usually is. 

Leo breaks the silence first.

"I um should just warn you, Mikey doesn't have the cleanest room..." He says slowly. 

Hesitant, awkard, coupled with the context of what I've just told him he's worried about how to talk to me. Uncertain that such glib remark is appropriate for such a serious event. Wanting to soothe his troubles I put on a smile as I glance to him. 

"Thanks for the heads up Leo." I tell him. "If I'm being honest right now, I think I'll just be happy to have my head on a pillow again."

"We can put a futon in my lab if you like." Offered Donnie. "When you want your own privacy of course."

"Thanks Don."

We fall back into silence once more, no one knowing what to say, how to act. 

My eyes travel over to Raph who hasn't spoke this whole entire time. His arms are crossed, his stares on the ground, trying to deal with whatever is going on in his head. Seeming to sense something, Leo speaks up once again.