Seeing You - Boys of Tommen

Rolling into 2002

December 31st, 2001

Patrick:

The party had been surprisingly drama-free unlike the last one. Also unlike the last one, I was maxing out at one drink, I did not need to get drunk again and demand another song from Katie or admit my undying love or something. Aside from the run in with Bella Wilkinson everything was running smoothly.

 We had formed a circle of rugby players and the older lads were recounting the recent ski trip that the year fives and sixes got to go on. I wasn't particularly looking forward to that trip like the other lads were but maybe something would change by then.

A few girls attempted to flirt with me, but my mind was perpetually stuck on a certain redhead, I hated it and yet I couldn't get it to stop, even now when she barely paid me attention. My mind was stuck on a constant loop of Katie Wilmot, her hauntingly beautiful voice, the way her legs looked in that black dress, her looking down at me while my head was on her lap at halloween, the way her hair framed her face and her halo, the way she smelt, and smiled, how she was meticulous about everything she did. I could watch her do assignment for hours, the care she took to make her penmanship perfect, and how the crease between her eyebrows would deepen in concentration. 

I didn't even notice that all of the lads had left the circle except for Gibsie who was trying to get my attention, "Earth to Feely." I snapped my head to him about to question him. Before I could he followed my previous line of sight and sighed. "You're cooked."

"What are you on about?"

"It'll pass"

"What will pass?"

"You and Katie Kat?"

"What?" My heartbeat quickens.

"You think I haven't noticed how you look at her and talk about her? Everyone may think I'm stupid but I'm not."

"I know you're not stupid." I say immediately and it was true, "But you've got this all wrong."

"When did it start?" I just shake my head, looking around for anyone who could overhear, but we were alone. "Was it when she ate lunch with us the first time?"

"No, I don't like her."

"Denial is the first stage."

"You're bloody delusional."

"So I just imagined how you spend all of your time staring at her, asking about her, worrying about her, not to mention defending her." He sighs, "I've known since you yelled at me for upsetting her at Claire's house."

"I...." But my words are caught in my throat.

"Lad, I know you think because you're quiet and don't get involved nobody sees you." He places a hand on my shoulder, "But I see ya."

"You can't tell anyone, especially Hugh." I say, giving up the act. 

"Does Katie know?"

"No and she never will, this will pass."

"Falling for your best friend's girl..." He looks sympathetic, "That bloody sucks, lad."

"I didn't."

"Geez, one step forward eight steps back, you've already admitted it lad."

"No, I mean, I liked her before Hugh."

"You met her first? When?"

"Two hours before Hugh."

"Only took that long to fall, huh?"

I just sigh, "Please, Gibs do not tell anyone, not even Johnny or Claire."

Gibsie says in a serious tone,"Relax, lad, I can keep a secret, trust me." Before I can ask what he meant he pulls us both up and walks us towards where Kate and Hugh are standing with a group, they had disappeared for a while earlier and ever since had been sneaking smiles at each other. 

I regret coming over when I see Bella Wilkinson and her friend Hannah Daly standing with them over a few boxes of pizza.

Immediately, Hannah is right in my face, "Hey Patrick, here." She says handing me a paper plate with two pieces of pepperoni pizza on it.

Before I can refuse, Katie speaks up, "He's vegetarian" and grabs the box at the bottom of the pile and passes it to me. 

I open it up and see an untouched veggie pizza. I'm kind of in shock, I had never told her I didn't eat meat, I barely mentioned it to anyone. It wasn't a secret or anything it just didn't come up. "Thanks." I say avoiding Gibsie watchful gaze. 

"Oh sorry I had no idea." Hannah says, her voice is all wrong, it's high and bubbly, not like Katie's. I seriously need to get a handle on my internal monologue.

"It's fine." I reply, not wanting to engage. 

"So Feely, do you have any plans for midnight?" Hannah asks.

"Midnight?"

"You know..." I can't believe she's asking this in front of people, I feel like I'm cheating on Katie. Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me.

"I'll have to check my calendar." Some of the others laugh, but she takes in stride. I hate it when girls think that my disinterest, is me playing hard to get. Like I'm some challenge or conquest. 

Before Hannah can speak again, Bella starts talking, "Johnny what about you?"

"Uhhhh" she just smiles and pulls him onto the makeshift dance floor. Hannah follows them along with Katie and Hugh who hold each other close while swaying. 

"Looks like it's just us then." Gibs says, and I grimace. 

Someone starts the countdown and before I know it, I see Katie and Hugh, as well as Johnny and Bella going at it, I turn to reprieve my eyelids from the sight, but am met with Gibsie leaning in to kiss my cheek. 

"What the hell did you that for?"

"It's bad luck to not have a New Years kiss."

"Good God." I say wiping my cheek with my sleeve. "That was completely uncalled for."

"Would you have let me do it if I announced my plan?"

"Obviously not."

"You see why  then."

I just sighed, I was rolling in the year of 2001 freshly kissed by Gibsie, and in love with my best friend's girl. It was going to be an interesting year.

Thanks for reading!  - H <3