Seeing You - Boys of Tommen

The End

PS: This chapter is best to read while listening to Sinead O'Connor's 'Nothing Compares 2 U' :)

December 23rd, 2005

Hugh:

It was the night of the winter ball, I had Katie in my arms and I felt sick. Just looking down at her, she looked beautiful in her dark green dress, with her hair styled, and glittery makeup. I was the luckiest guy here, but I betrayed her. 

I knew she could tell, that I wasn't right. 

We danced slowly, just swaying. We were really more just hugging, on the dance floor. 

"I'm so sorry Katie." I say, leaning into even more.

"For what?" She asks in a small voice, she tries to hold her head back, but I don't let her, if I look her in the eyes, I'll lose it. 

"Everything." I say, and I don't think I could be holding her physically closer if I tried. 

"You can talk to me, Hugh. Whatever it is, we can work through it." She offers, but I have nothing to say.

We just continue swaying to the music. Sinead O'Connor's 'Nothing Compares 2 U' is currently playing and I soak in the melancholy of the lyrics. 

I think we remain like that for a few hours. It feels like the end, and I hate it. I know she can feel it too. She is everything good in my life, and I destroyed it. Destroyed her trust, her heart. The heart she gave me and I callously took advantage of it, tested to its limits, and I am currently breaking it. 

I fucking hate this. I hate myself. I hate Liz. I hate that I could never really hate Liz. I feel so much hate, and Katie doesn't deserve any of it. 

"I'm so sorry." I say, again. 

"Why?" Katie asks, and she has tears in her eyes, because of me. 

I catch Patrick's attention with a wave, and he walks over to us, "hey, how about you dance with Katie for a while, I'll be back."

"Hugh-" Katie starts but I just leave, like the coward I am, and Patrick wearily grabs her hands, and starts speaking quietly to her. 

I just have to get out of here, I can't keep looking at her haunting eyes, at her seeing eyes.

Thanks for reading! - H <3