Seeing You - Boys of Tommen

Suffering and Laughing

December 2nd, 2003

Patrick:

I knew Katie, had been different, since the events outside of the cinema, but I thought it was all directed at me. I couldn't think of why she would be shutting out Hugh.

She hadn't done anything, I was the asshole who almost kissed her. I wanted to, badly. Only she could have stopped me. I certainly didn't have the self control to stop myself.

The view of her glassy eyes and wet hair haunted me. The events of that night played in a constant loop in my mind, and it was both heaven and hell. 

I was surprised to hear Hughie confide in us about Katie, he would say the odd thing about her but not like this, he must have been really worried. 

I was working twice as hard, trying to expel Katie from my mind. But it wasn't taking as well this time around.

"Whatcha looking at?" Lizzie Young asks, bringing me out of my thoughts, and forces me to stop staring at Katie.

"Nothing, kind of spaced out."

"Was it Johnny, he is handsome" she said sleepily and I just shook my head, "good with his hands."

"Jesus, Lizzie." I sigh, "what do you want?"

"Can't I just want to talk?" 

"Sure, talk."

"I remember you being nicer."

"I could say the same thing for you."

"Touche." Her gaze goes back to where my mine was for the last ten minutes, "Tell me it's not Gibsie."

"It's not, I like girls, Lizzie."

"Hmmm....that just leaves perfect little Katie doesn't it?" She says, and then amends, "Although, you don't take me as a steal your best friend's girl type."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Also, she's a little bland for you."

"Bland?"

"Very bland."

"Why would Hugh be with her then?" I'm feeling defensive now, but I can't let her see it.

"I ruined him."

"You didn't ruin him, Liz." I said, "You were both young and hurt."

"Being young doesn't mean it will go away, suffering doesn't get unlocked when you turn thirty, it's right from birth."

"Okay." I say, not knowing where to go from here. Lizzie was very well spoken when she wanted to be, but I think it was wasted on me.

"What?"

"You know Liz, maybe you should do one of those slam poetry things." I laughed, and she shoved me. "Really lay it all out there."

"You actually suck."

"Ripped from the womb" I say with dramatic intensity, "It's all just suffering." 

Lizzie's laughing uncontrollably now,"never say 'womb' again'" I'm laughing now too and I can't help but look at Katie.

Except, Hugh and her are looking at both of us with strange expressions, Hugh looks angry, and maybe jealous, and Katie looks kind of sad and something else I can't quite put a finger on.

Thanks for reading!  - H <3