Seeing You - Boys of Tommen

Collapsing

August 19th, 2005

Hugh:

I had been a bloody mess this summer. That fucking camping trip set something off with me, and I hadn't been right since. I felt bad for Katie and everyone around me because, I was so distant. 

I even felt distant from myself, like I was watching myself interact with people, but I wasn't really there. It was like floating above my body and observing my life. It was a freaky feeling and I had spent the majority of my time in bed this summer due to it.

I was ignoring everybody in my life, and when I was dragged out to spend time with them my mood swings gave me whiplash. I could only imagine how my friends saw me.

That stunt I pulled in the restaurant was childish, it was like I was throwing a tantrum and I hated myself for it. 

Worse, Claire brought company over when she returned. Katie was still here but we were just sitting together, I didn't want to talk about it and she wasn't one to push. 

"We've come to make you feel better" Claire declared and I internally groaned. I loved my sister, she was a little ball of sunshine, but she was too much for me right now. 

"No need, I'm actually tired, you can all go home."

"Well, Patrick and Liz are staying over and Gerard too, so there's no where for anyone to go." Claire replied, matter-of-factly. 

"Katie has to go home." Liz pointed out and I just wanted to run to my room, draw my curtains, turn the light off and rot in bed. 

"No she doesn't" I say feeling depleted of energy. I actually did have to drive her home, but that wasn't what Liz meant. 

We all settle in the living room and watch some movie Claire wants to watch. I zone out and am practically counting down the seconds until I can just be alone. 

After the movie's over Gibsie and Claire go up to her room to check in on the kittens and Lizzie, Feely, Katie, and I stand around the kitchen island.

"Those two are bloody mental" Liz says as we all listen to Claire and Gibs's antics, laughing and jumping around.

"Do they ever run out of energy?" Katie asks jokingly, looking tired herself. 

"What's it to you?" Liz snaps back, I expect Katie to look hurt or shocked, or even annoyed but she looks all spacey. 

Liz just wanted an argument and now that her human punching bag a.k.a. Gibsie wasn't here, Katie was the next best thing. 

"I was just...Joking" Katie replied, kind of slurring, and I couldn't remember if she had been drinking. I noticed Patrick moving closer to her, and his usually calm features were covered with worry. 

Liz didn't seem to notice, and I wasn't really sure what Feely was doing, "well don't."

Katie didn't respond, she just collapsed, her eyes were glossed over and her face was pale. Patrick somehow caught her and was holding her up.

I was in shock, I wasn't moving. What was wrong with her? I just wanted to sleep, but everyone had to follow me.

Unlike me, Patrick was quick to action looking at me, "when was the last time she ate?" he asked.

"I...uh, the restaurant." I answered, confused at his questioning, and kind of panicking.

"Yeah, it was some kind of pasta or salad thing." Lizzie added looking confused at a limp Katie in Feely's arms, maybe it was some kind of food poisoning?

"No, she didn't eat that, when was the last time you physically saw her eat?" Huh? What was he talking about?

I racked my brain, and looked toward Liz but she looked panicked and confused, "I...uh...I  don't know, maybe this morning, or..." I say, but I have no idea.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Patrick demands, in a no nonsense tone that I've never heard.

"I... we had lunch, but I don't remember her actually eating..." I say, feeling like an idiot.

"You didn't think that was odd?" He asks and I have no answer, I feel fucking helpless. 

Thankfully, Katie starts to stir and opens her eyes, "sorry," her head sways into Feely's shoulder, "I think I'm sick or.... something" she says sort of slurring.

I start to move toward her, realizing it's probably not a good look, not having even gotten close to her in her time of need. But Feely's already questioning her, "when was the last time you ate?"

Katie looked away from his gaze, "uh, the restaurant.." Patrick just gives her a stern look, and tears roll down her face, "I don't know..."

"Does she need to go to the hospital or something?" Liz asks.

"No...I just need to go home." Katie replies, still heavily relying on Patrick to stand, I know it should be me, but I don't even have it in me to feel jealous. 

"I'll take her home, give me your keys." Patrick says.

"Are you sure? I can take her."

"Yeah, I want to go home anyway." He answers and I'm handing him my keys, and then he picks Katie up, bridal style and I just stand there.

Lizzie walks up to Claire's room, muttering something about having a goodnight, as Gibsie goes into my room and I feel so confused, and just wrong. 

Thanks for reading! - H <3