Seeing You - Boys of Tommen

First Day

September 3rd, 2002

Lizzie:

It was my first day at Tommen College, and it wasn't going well. I don't know why I thought everything would change if I switched schools, it was the same shit, just in a different, larger building. 

My best friend Shannon had to go Ballylaggin Community School and had left me with Claire. I loved Claire, but her sunny disposition and  friendship with Gibsie, made her hard to be around sometimes.

The worst part about attending Tommen, was I had to see Hugh everyday, with her.

"This is so much better than primary school." Claire says.

"In what way? There's only two other girls in our grade and no one cares about you unless you play rugby."

"Always so negative...look how big the lunch room is" She says, easily distracted. It wasn't big enough because the moment I walked in, my eyes went straight to Hugh with his arm wrapped around Katie, sitting at their table of rugby fanatics. She was the only girl sitting at the table, and she looked like their little princess, I hated it, and I decided that I hated her.

"Let's go over there." Claire says, pulling me in their direction.

I pull her back, "Claire, please don't make me, let's find our own table." Claire looks annoyed, but must see the pleading in my eyes, she looks back at the table, seeing Gibsie waving like a god damn idiot. She waves back, and turns to face me again, "Please" I'm practically begging now.

"Okay, we can sit somewhere else." She concedes, disappointed but I don't really care, I don't want to be at the same table as any of them.

"Thank you." She just nods and leads the way to an empty table.

Near the end of lunch, Gibsie and Johnny make their way over to our table and I internally groan, and then externally groan because I want Gibsie to know how I feel about him.

"Claire Bear, I saved you a seat, why didn't you come?" Claire just looks over at me and shrugs. "Oh, I'll walk you to your class then." Claire smiles at that and begins packing up her stuff. 

"Liz, aren't you coming? We've got the same class." Claire asks

"I'll meet you there."

"Are you sure? We can wait." Claire asks pretending not to notice Gibsie twirling one of her blonde curls around his finger, although she can't completely hide the blush. 

"I'm all good." I try to force a smile, which is enough for her and she leaves with Johnny and Gibsie.

At this point, I think I'm in the clear until Patrick walks by with Katie and Hugh beside him.

"Hey Liz, how's your first day been?" Patrick asks.

"Fine." I offer.

Hugh is looking anywhere but at me and Katie is looking at me weirdly, kind of sadly, I can't quite place the emotion until it becomes clear...pity.

My hatred towards her heightens, did Hughie tell her about me, about my sister, about my cutting?

"You know, he's not going to run away if you let go of him right?" I ask, eyeing her clutching Hugh's arm. Hugh grimaces but still refuses to look at me.

"Uh...Yeah." Katie says awkwardly, she's definitely not good with confrontation. She however does not let go of him, and he has the audacity to pull her in closer. You broke up with him, because you're horrible and don't deserve him, just let him go. I know that's all true, but I can't help myself, he'll always feel like mine.

"See ya around, Liz" Patrick says and the three of them walk out of the lunch room, I just want Hugh to look at me once, I've been better about my cutting, so he's doesn't check in as much and I miss the feeling of his gaze on me.

Thanks for reading!  - H<3