Seeing You - Boys of Tommen

Growing Up

September 19th, 2003

Katie:

We were a few weeks into the new school year, and Hugh and I's relationship had never been better. I felt like the distance that he always maintained between us, was almost completely gone. He wasn't skipping practices anymore, or going radio silent for days at a time. 

I also noticed that he paid no attention to Lizzie, last year, I could tell it took effort to avoid her, for his gaze to not immediately linger on her. It was like she didn't exist to him anymore. He was still civil when we were all together, but it was different. I felt like he only had eyes for me now, and as scary as it was, I soaked in the feeling.

Hugh wasn't the only one that was different this year. Patrick was like a new person, within two months he had forgone his old personality. I still caught glimpses of it, and he still behaved normally around the lads. But he was different, harder. I want to ask him what had happened, but I don't know how, in first year he annoyed me to no end with his questions, and his ability to see right through me. I didn't want to be a nuisance, when I mentioned it to Hugh, he said it was just how Feely always acted, but I knew something was off with him. 

Maybe we were just growing up, I was more sure of myself now, and Hugh didn't allow Lizzie to control his moods. I guess Patrick, grew out being that nervous shy boy, I met that day in the music room.

"How are your classes this year?" Claire asked me, we were currently watching the first rugby game of the season and it was half time.

"Good, yours?"

"They're okay, not the smart classes like you." I don't know what to say to that, I've always tried really hard in school and put a lot of pressure on myself. But I feel like an imposter anytime someone compliments my work or points it out. "You must have hours of homework everyday."

"Yeah, it can be a bit overwhelming." I say, and it is.

"Maybe, you can help Gerard, I've been trying to help him but his work is too advanced for me."

"Sure, I'd be happy too." Bella really only cared about Johnny these days and was no longer enforcing the no Gibsie rule, I wasn't brave enough to flaunt spending anytime alone with Gibsie or Patrick but, it no longer kept me up at night. 

"Claire, have you noticed something different about Patrick?"

"No, why have you?" She asks and she looks genuinely concerned, and I'm worried she's going to spread my worry for him around the group.

"I don't know, he's just been quiet."

"Feely's always quiet, did you just notice?"

"No, I know, but... I don't know, I'm probably just imagining things." I try to brush it off, "Just forget I said anything."

"Okay, I'll pay more attention." I just nod gratefully and return to watching the game, that has now resumed, and Lizzie silently rejoins us after leaving to go the bathroom.

Claire cheers and yells like a maniac. I stick to just clapping. I'm envious of Claire's carefree disposition and how she goes through life. She's able to live exactly how she wants, she's not anxious about everything. She isn't thinking about how everyone in the crowds is perceiving her yelling, where as I'm overthinking the speed that I'm clapping and the exact volume. 

Once the game is over, we decide to go to Biddie's to celebrate the team's victory. The local restaurant is crowded and the sound of Tommen's rugby team makes it ten times worse.

I'm sitting at a table with Hugh, Johnny, Gibsie, Patrick, Claire, and Lizzie. Hugh has his arm draped over me, and it makes me feel safe. 

"If you got it together and tried, the academy would scoop you up, Gibs" Johnny says, as they recount the match.

"Stop making me blush, Kav." Gibsie says deflecting the compliment.

"I'm not lying."

"What do you think Claire? Me making you proud, playing for Ireland."

"Whatever you do will make me proud." Claire responds which earns a huge smile from Gibsie, and a hug, to which Hugh and Lizzie verbally groaned at. I didn't get their problem, I knew Hugh just wanted to protect Claire, but you could see how much they loved each other from space. I would wage that Gibsie would cut off his own hand before causing that girl pain. But I didn't have any siblings so I guess I wouldn't know. And I think Lizzie was just anti anything Gibsie.

"See ya later" Patrick said as he got up from the table, and we all said our goodbyes. That was another new thing about Patrick, he left almost every event early if he  hadn't already canceled right before.

"So Katie, I hear you're going to be my new teacher." 

"What?" I say surprised.

"Claire said you agreed to tutor me."

"Oh, if you want me to, I can help."

"Wow, Gibsie a tutor who's younger than you, what should we do, when she gives up? Put up a flyer in a primary school?" Lizzie says, and our table goes silent.

I feel angry on Gibsie's behalf and I hate seeing how, he's just looking down at the table in shame. Thankfully, Johnny speaks up, "What's your problem Liz?"

"I don't have a problem, I just think it's weird you just all accept his stupidity."

This time Claire speaks up, "Liz, that's enough."

Liz doesn't stop, "Just a word of warning Katie," the way she says my name feels venomous, and I can't think of what I've done to deserve her hate. "No matter how hard you work with him, he'll never learn."

I knew Hugh and his friends liked to banter and make fun of each other, but I wanted to cry at the sheer hostility in her voice, and the emptiness in her eyes.

"Liz, we're going." Claire said, quickly getting up and pulling Lizzie up with her. I felt like I could finally breathe with her gone, and Hugh clearly felt the same.

"What is wrong with that girl?" Johnny asked. I had grown accustomed to Hugh immediately defending her, but it never came. I think it shocked Johnny and Gibsie too.

"I'd be happy to help you with your schoolwork." I say, finally breaking the silence.

"Sounds good." He says embarrassed, seeing Gibsie embarrassed was like sunshine during a rain storm, it didn't happen often.

Hugh tucked me closer into his arm, and I breathed in his scent, and his warmth. "Jesus, would you two get a room?" Gibsie asked and I blushed but Hugh just pulled me closer and peppered kisses on my neck and then made his way to my lips. By the time we pulled apart from each other, Johnny and Gibsie were gone and we just looked at the other and burst out laughing. I loved moments like this with him, I never wanted them to stop.

Thanks for reading!  If you've been reading this story as I've been putting it out, first of all thank you so much! and you might be confused about the year. Basically, I don't know how to do math, and made everything a year before it should have been. (2000 would have been Katie's last year of primary school, not her first year of Tommen like I had done originally) So the book's timeline didn't actually match up, and I just went through and changed all of the dates! It doesn't actually affect the story except for in the chapter 'Two Corpses' It had actually been three years since Caoimhe's death not two, and I had to change 'Rolling into 2001' to 'Rolling into 2002'. Besides that everything's the same lol!   - H<3