Seeing You - Boys of Tommen

Drowning

January 13th, 2006

Hugh:

When did my life become this? When did I become this man? I let everyone in my life down, and I can't make it stop. 

Maybe it started when Caoimhe died, or maybe when I started dating Liz, maybe when she broke my heart, or have I always been a mess, and I'm grasping at straws to blame anyone but myself. 

I drove home, in a trance. I was supposed to drive Claire home, but I knew Gibsie would get her home, and one of Katie's friends would drive her.

I knew Katie deserved to be free of me, but I wanted to fight for her nonetheless, at least make her understand that it had nothing to do with her. 

I don't know how I'm going to face her at school, how I'm going to show my face in front of all my friends. I saw their faces, their judgement. How Joey, Johnny, and Gibsie could even fathom betraying their girl's trust like I had. Oddly enough, Patrick looked the most offended.

I was home now, laying in my bed. Taking count of the four walls, the four bed posts, the two night stands, one closet, one light, two lamps, and so on. 

I hadn't even taken off my shoes, I ignored my Mam's greeting when I entered the house, and I was just stewing in my own self pity.

I was starting to fall into a fitful sleep, when I felt a sharp pain on my forehead, Claire had come in and thrown her pointy shoe at me. 

"You idiot." She stated. 

"Claire...." I start, "it's not what it seems." She hits me with her other shoe.

"I heard everything, and let me just say, you two deserve each other."

"Katie and I?" I question.

"No."

"Claire, I feel horrible." I say, trying to stop the look of utter contempt in my many sister's eyes.

"Hugh, you're my brother, and I love you." She replies calmly, "but you need to get it together, because Liz is drowning you."

Thanks for reading! - H <3